


Gintama: The Outbreak

by Wingedsong



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Drama, F/M, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Romance, Shounen-ai, Survival Horror, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 03:16:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12245901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingedsong/pseuds/Wingedsong
Summary: It started a few years ago. A really bad virus hit the cities and after that, towns. Countless died to it. People became desperate to find a cure. A medicine was created, and people thought they were finally saved. What followed was even worse. Thinking back, maybe it was the very same desperation that made us look for the cure that did this.I still remember that day. I was doing the usual, cooking breakfast for my foster daughter Kagura who was watching TV. I can still smell the eggs and the bacon and when I close my eyes I can still see what my kitchen looked like. Light was shining through the closed curtains. I could hear Kagura complaining about the programs, there was nothing to watch.Then the peace was broken by the low howl of the Sirens.





	1. Broken peace

It started a few years ago. A really bad virus hit the cities and after that, towns. Countless died to it. People became desperate to find a cure. A medicine was created, and people thought they were finally saved. What followed was even worse. Thinking back, maybe it was the very same desperation that made us look for the cure that did this. 

 

We were so desperate, that when the cure was made, no one expected what would happen once the person who was cured became deceased. Hasegawa Taizou, or the patient zero as we call him, died in a car crash. After that something happened at the morgue. He was most certainly dead. Morgue worker was working with the corpse and suddenly the body let out some sort of gas. The worker described it as the worst thing he had ever inhaled. 

 

Week later he was hospitalized because of strong fever that wouldn't go down with any antibiotics or other medicine. Doctors did the best they could but they just couldn't save that man. Maybe they should have studied him closer. Maybe they did. Still, it is too late to cry about it now. Once his heart stopped beating his brain received a huge amounts of unknown brain waves. And he sat up even though rigor mortis had set in long ago. There are many theories and stories about what happened next. 

 

Some say he bit the nearby nurse. Others claim he ran away and bit people from the town. Whatever he did doesn't matter in the end. What matters is what happened after. New type of sickness spread. People would die from strong fever and afterwards wake up as something that wasn't dead but wasn't alive either. 

 

I still remember that day. I was doing the usual, cooking breakfast for my foster daughter Kagura who was watching TV. I can still smell the eggs and the bacon and when I close my eyes I can still see what my kitchen looked like. Light was shining through the closed curtains. I could hear Kagura complaining about the programs, there was nothing to watch. 

 

I also remember her whining about how hungry she was. I told her to wait just a little bit more. Then suddenly the peace was broken by sound of sirens. I dismissed it. It wasn't like it was the first time they'd do an emergency drill. But soon I noticed that it wasn't stopping. I walked to the window and opened it. I listened very closely. Once more… once more, and it would mean that it's not a practice, but a real deal. 

 

And there it was, the sirens let out a long low sound and I knew that something was wrong. I heard a male voice inform of the emergency. Soon the voice was accompanied by the sound of guns and screams. I turned to look at the the neighborhood from my window, people were running for their lives. I tried to search with my eyes the reason why they were running. 

 

Then I heard Kagura let out a scream in the living room. I ran there and probably set a record.  
“Kagura!”, I screamed and noticed our family friend, Shinpachi laying on the ground. My blood ran cold and I kneeled next to him. He was burning up!  
“Hold on Shinpachi! Kagura bring some water! And towels!”

 

Kagura nodded, she was obviously shocked. So was I, when I saw the huge amount of blood coming from his shoulder. I moved carefully his kendogi out of the way. I felt like puking, it was as if someone had bitten a whole piece out of his shoulder. It was already infected and gushing with yellow substance. I had to hold my hand on my face to keep myself from puking. It was horrible.

 

“Gin...Gin-san.”  
I noticed that Shinpachi was somehow conscious. I sighed in relief.

 

“Calm down Shinpachi. We'll get you fixed up in no time!” I said and tried to sound convincing. Shinpachi grabbed the collar of my kimono and pulled me closer as in trying to tell me something.  
“Don’t...let..it…” Suddenly he puked on me. It was a mixture of blood and stomach fluids. I almost puked right after but I managed to keep it in. 

 

“Don’t try to speak.” I said and patted his head. “Where’s the water Kagura!?”

 

My voice was slightly shaking from fear and anxiety. Kagura ran in the room bucket full of water and a towel. I tried cleaning the wound with the best of my ability. Shinpachi was breathing heavily and I started to feel scared.  
“Kagura, come to hold this on the wound. I’ll call the ambulance!”  
Our dog Sadaharu was whining in the corner, just as scared as I was.

 

Kagura did as she was asked and I went to get the cellphone from the kitchen. I dialed the emergency number and waited for someone to answer. When I heard the line connect I opened my mouth to tell about the situation but I was cut off by the busy line voice mail. I couldn’t believe it. 

 

I tried to call again but the same voice mail came. I threw my phone on the ground in frustration. What should I do? What can I do? My friend was dying in my living room and the emergency line was busy. Maybe if I borrow landlord’s car. That’s right, I’ll just drive there myself. 

 

“Gin-chan…” I heard Kagura walk to the kitchen. I turned to see her crying face. “Shin-chan...Shin-chan is..”  
My eyes opened wide in horror. I ran to the living room and kneeled in front of my close friend.

 

“Shinpachi. Shinpachi now is not a time to play jokes on me.” I tried shaking him. I even slapped him once. There was no response.  
“Hey...Shinpachi!” With shaking hands I opened his mouth and tried to bring him back to life by breathing to his mouth and pressing his chest with my hands. I did this for a while, until I ran out of breath and tired out my hands. It could have been minutes, maybe even hours. I lost track of time. By the time Kagura pulled me off him, it was already evening. 

 

My friend was laying on my floor dead. I stared at him with empty eyes, if his weren’t closed I think his eyes would have been just as soulless. Kagura was hugging me and crying. I couldn’t even bring myself to pat her in order to calm her down.

 

We both just sat there for couple of minutes. I couldn’t hear anything going on in the town. There was only silence even though all I had heard just a while ago was screams and guns. Sadaharu was licking Kagura’s face in order to help her calm down. I knew I should have been the one to calm her. But I was too shocked to cry, much less move. 

 

 

Kagura was sitting in the corner with Sadaharu. I still hadn’t moved from my spot. Neither of us spoke. We didn’t know what to say. Finally I stood up to get my phone. It worked though there was a small crack on the screen. I lifted it on my ear while trying to reach the emergency number. The same voice mail informed of the busy line. I didn’t get angry this time, I just put my phone down quietly. 

 

I sat down on the floor and finally it hit me. My friend was dead. I would never be able to hear his voice again. I could feel the tears form to my eyes. I put my hand to hide my mouth in order to stop myself from screaming out. Suddenly I heard Kagura gasp in horror. I turned slowly to look in the Shinpachi’s direction. He was standing.

 

“Shinpachi…” I stood up to hug him but stopped when I saw his eyes. There was something, something gone.  
“Shin-chan!” Kagura was about to go and hug him but I stopped her. Sadaharu growled and I felt shivers run down my spine.  
“Gin-chan what are you doing!?” Kagura said angrily in confusion.

 

I was confused too. He had definitely died. There was no way that he could be standing right now. So why? Why was he standing like the wound didn’t matter anymore. Suddenly he stepped forward, his walking was slow and clumsy. As if he had forgotten how he was supposed to walk.  
“Shinpachi… How about you stay a bit further away. Something's not right with you.” I said while trying to keep my voice calm. I think even Kagura realized that something was up since she didn’t try to run to him anymore. 

 

I hid her behind my back when Shinpachi stepped another step forward. He let out this growl like sound before suddenly jumping at me. My wooden sword was leaning on the nearby sofa. There was no way I was going to make it. I lifted my hand to protect me from him but suddenly there was a slashing sound and Shinpachi’s head rolled on the ground. As his body followed I finally opened my eyes.

 

“Glad to see not everyone is dead.” 

 

I lifted my eyes from the body to see Shinsengumi’s vice-commander stand in front of me. He looked like he had been through hell. Next to him was standing my friend Sougo. 

 

“Why...why did you do that!?” Kagura shouted out angrily and she probably would have attacked him if Sougo hadn’t pointed his sword at her.  
“Kagura calm down.” I said with a tired voice.  
“Hijikata-kun…”  
“Just Hijikata.” Hijikata said and put his sword in its sheath. I looked at him for a moment before continuing.

 

“Hijikata. What is going on? What...what happened to Shinpachi?” I asked. My voice was shaky and emotionless. Hijikata stared at me for a while before lighting his cigarette. 

 

“It’s just like you saw.”  
“I don’t know what I saw.”  
Hijikata glared at me for a moment before sighing loudly.

 

“Your friend was bitten by them.” He said while holding the cigarette between his fingers. “...Out there is a total chaos. They have set up the borders. It’s some kind of virus that… Turns normal people, into things like him.”  
I didn’t like the way he spoke of Shinpachi, as if he hadn’t been a human but a thing.

 

“How?” I carefully asked while trying to progress the information I was given.

 

“I’m not sure yet. So far I’ve only seen someone change once they’re bitten.” Hijikata explained to me. Kagura was holding tightly to my sleeve. 

 

“Where’s Kondo?” I remember hating myself after asking that question. I also remember Hijikata’s expression very well.

 

“He’s dead.” Hijikata finally confessed. I noticed Sougo give out this painful expression.

 

“Was he..?”

 

“I didn’t let him turn. He didn’t want to become like them.” 

 

I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have asked. I could only imagine what Hijikata had meant when he said that he didn’t let him turn.  
Soon Hijikata walked to the windows and closed them. He also put the curtains down and Sougo went to do the same with the door. He locked it and put a chair to hold it closed.

 

“What are you doing?” I looked confused.  
“We’re not sure what they use to track the living with. It could be that they see well, it could also be body temperature or scent. Anyway, as long as we make sure everything is closed and lights are turned off they shouldn’t be able to find us”, Sougo explained while turning off all the lights.

 

“Why are you helping us?” Kagura asked with suspecting tone of voice.  
“Because I feel like you guys would have done the same for us. Besides we own you some favors.” Hijikata said without turning to look at us. For some reason, after what happened today, it was really comforting to hear Hijikata say that.

 

“Thank you.” I said with a tired smile. Hijikata turned to look at me with slightly surprised look.  
“Don’t thank me yet. We still have to reach the border tomorrow. We’re still stuck here. I haven’t helped you guys yet.”

 

 

The following night felt painfully long. I couldn't sleep so I was just sitting wide awake on my sofa. I gave a glance at the body that was covered with the sheet. The grip on my wooden sword tightened slightly.

 

“Can't sleep?” 

 

I looked up at Hijikata with surprised eyes. He walked quietly and sat in the sofa that resided on the opposite side of the one I sat on. I only now noticed how tired he looked. I simply nodded at him.  
“I just can't believe what just happened. I'm still wrapping my head around it.” I confessed while playing with my sword. Hijikata looked at me for a moment before speaking. 

 

“The Shinsengumi were called in this morning. I personally came to see what was going on. When I arrived at the scene people were screaming and eating each other. We tried saving who we could. But even though they only got bitten once they would get sick. In about an hour or even less, they would die and then turn into… Those. The time from dying to changing was different depending on a person. Some turned almost right away… Some… Later. Kondo didn't tell me at first. But then he collapsed in the middle of our escape. He was burning up, he had been bitten. I tried telling him that we would find a way. Find a cure. But he asked me not to take the risk. He begged me to end his life so that he wouldn't end up like those things.”  
I listened closely without interrupting as Hijikata shared his story. While I was struggling, so was he. 

 

Hijikata paused and didn't say anything for awhile.  
“Then when I saw that his time was running out I couldn't...” Hijikata swallowed before continuing.  
“...I couldn't refuse his pleas any longer.”

 

Hijikata lifted his hand to hide his face. Someone as proud as he probably didn't want others to see him in such a weak state. He probably wouldn't have spoken about it if I hadn't undergone the same situation just a few hours ago. I really didn't know what to tell him. It's not like anything I’d say would change a thing. So for some reason I just moved to sit next to him and sorta patted his back. That was pretty unusual for the both of us. Two proud grown ass men crying to each other of their losses. 

 

I looked at Kagura who had curled into a ball next to Sadaharu and Sougo who was leaning against the wall while sleeping. At least they could fall asleep. We sat there quietly and I could feel my eyelids get heavier. Soon I felt an additional weight against my shoulder. I turned to look at Hijikata who had dozed off. I wondered if I should wake him up or not, but decided not to, when I saw his peaceful expression. 

 

At some point staying awake proved too hard for me so I decided to tap Sougo with my wooden sword. He woke up rather quickly and almost pulled out his own sword but I lifted my finger to my lips so that he wouldn't shout out. He looked slightly spooked but then realised what I meant. He then nodded quietly and got up. I quickly glanced at the sleeping vice-commander before trying to relax. Slowly the not so peaceful sleep came to me.

 

I can't remember what I dreamt about that night. All I can recall is the morning after.  
I was woken up by Sougo who told me that it was time to leave. It was hard. Leaving that is. I had hoped that the granny and the others from downstairs had gotten to safety but that dream had been shattered by Hijikata who had informed me of their demise when they had come to help me and Kagura. Apparently granny was the one who had bitten Shinpachi in the first place. That was proven by the ripped pieces of his clothing on granny’s body.

 

If falling asleep was hard, then waking up was a nightmare. Literally if I may add. This messed up reality was just too horrible to be true.  
Hijikata checked my fridge and told us all to eat before leaving. Eating didn't exactly sound tempting with a corpse next to us but Hijikata explained that we'd need our strength. I filled up some old bottles I hadn't returned to the shop with cold water and Hijikata put some food in the bags. 

 

Kagura looked horrible, she was sitting on the sofa. She hadn't spoken a word since yesterday. As troubling as it was I had nothing I could tell her to make her feel better. We all had to face this reality no matter how gruesome it was. We carefully checked our surroundings before running to the nearest van that had enough space to fit in Sadaharu.

 

“How will we make it work without a key?” Kagura asked. Hijikata suddenly broke the car's window and opened the door for Sougo. He crawled in to start the car by breaking the wires and connecting them.  
“Aren't you supposed to be the cops?” I asked in disbelief.  
“Well yeah. That's why we know how the thieves steal a car.” Sougo said as a matter of fact -tone. I just sighed and ran behind the car to open the doors for Sadaharu. When I opened them, a huge man charged at me. I fell to the ground while desperately holding his head away from me. 

 

“Little help here!” I shouted while the zombie tried to take a bite out of me. It was incredible how strong it was. Right when I felt my arms weaken, there was a loud sound as Kagura used her umbrella to shoot it down. I pushed the now limp body off me. It hit the ground with a loud thump sound. 

 

“You idiot!” Hijikata hissed when he ran to us. “What were you thinking!?”  
“I had to save Gin-chan! What did you think I was doing!?” Kagura shouted back angrily.  
“Not that! Did you have to shoot with it!? Don't you know that if we make too much noise then…!” Hijikata didn't have time to finish when a loud screeching like sounds were heard. I looked around and actually saw couple of people move from the broken buildings. I felt my blood freeze from fear when I saw their faces. Just like Shinpachi, their eyes had no soul in them.

 

“We gotta go! Jump in! Quick!” Sougo shouted from the front seat. Sadaharu jumped in and Sougo started to drive almost instantly after Kagura had jumped to the front seat. We made it just in time before the car left without us. 

 

I was surprised by those things. They could actually run though it was a bit clumsy. Two of them managed to grab on the car doors. Hijikata and I hit them down instantly but something told me that they didn't die from the hits nor the fall afterwards. We closed the doors and sighed from relief.

 

The window that was separating the van’s front seat from us was quickly pulled open by Sougo.  
“Everything alright over there!?” He shouted from the front seat.  
“As much as we can be.” Hijikata laughed tiredly. If I didn’t know any better, he almost sounded amused. Almost. 

 

 

The car ride was calm. We didn’t encounter anyone, living nor dead. Hijikata was sitting quietly next to me, leaning against the wall. I knew he was just as tense as I was, even if he didn’t show it. I was patting the whining Sadaharu, his fur felt comforting as did his warmth.  
“Mind if I smoke?” Hijikata asked.  
I turned to look at him with a perplexed look.  
“I don’t think it really matters in a situation like this.” I finally said looking down on my feet.  
“Being under pressure doesn’t mean I can’t have some manners.” Hijikata said, looking for his mayonnaise lighter. Soon he found it and lit his cigarette. Faint smell of smoke lingered in the air and for some reason that calmed me down even more.

 

I soon outstretched my hand to him. He turned to look at me confused, I gestured him to give me his cigarette. He reluctantly took it out of his mouth and gave it to me.  
“You don’t even smoke.” He said, looking at me with raised eyebrow. I simply chuckled before inhaling the smoke from the cigarette.  
“Very rarely if ever…” I said with a tired smile. He didn’t speak much afterwards, just lighted another cigarette.

 

We drove all the way to the edge of the city, Sougo was scanning the streets for survivors but saw no one, living nor dead.

 

I was about to doze off when Hijikata shook my shoulder so gently I barely registered. To be honest it was little freaky for him to be that way. I guessed he was in his officer mode, trying to keep the civilian safe and to calm them down.

 

I got up, feeling a little sluggish. Sadaharu came to lean his head against me with a small whine. I patted him as we stepped outside of the vehicle.  
I was surprised to see that the reason why Sougo had stopped the car was because of the long line of abandoned cars blocking the streets.

 

“We’re near the bridge. They must have blocked it for safety, it’s harder to check people for infection when they’re sitting inside their cars.” Hijikata said while looking around. I could faintly hear commotion outside, living people.

 

We walked in the line between the parked cars. Hijikata told us to keep an eye out for anything useful in the cars so we did. I turned to look at Kagura who was slowly munching her jerky. It was a good sign, she had barely eaten when we left. None of us had, even with Hijikata’s persistence.  
I noticed the bright spotlights, we were closing in the bridge now.

 

Kagura was sitting on Sadaharu who was closely following me. Hijikata was walking in front while Sougo walked behind us. It felt a little bit weird for me, like I was under police protection. Suddenly Hijikata stopped, making me hit my nose at the back of his head.  
“Wha-?”  
“We’re here.” I tilted my head to the side, there were huge amount of soldiers from other cities and behind the protective line were what was left of our city.

 

“Vice-commander!”  
It seemed there were still some of the shinsengumi left. Two men I hadn’t met, ran to Hijikata, looking relieved. “And first division captain! Thank god you two are alright, what about-?”  
Hijikata shook his head, the men’s faces turned pale, pained. I could relate in a way. A memory of Shinpachi came to me and I bitterly turned away.

 

“So what’s the case status?” Hijikata asked, his men tried to calm themselves.  
“There’s around 3-4 hundred people here. They’re all hungry and agitated sir!” One of them said. Hijikata looked at the crowd in front of us.  
“What has the army commented?” Hijikata asked, trying to see past the people.  
“They have yet to give any statement. They refuse to tell us anything before commander gets here.” The other one replied. 

 

Hijikata looked little troubled but Sougo put his hand on his shoulder.  
“Well, we have a commander right here.”  
We all turned to look at Sougo surprised. Hijikata most of all.  
“Sougo…” Hijikata didn’t get to say anything when he noticed Sougo’s expression. He was just as pained as he was but he knew better than to give in to his emotions. Hijikata turned to look at me little nervously.

 

“You guys should join with others. I’m going to see if I can pry any information from the army. I’m sure it will be alright.” Hijikata said. I didn’t really feel that convinced.

 

“Will you come back?” 

 

I hadn’t really heard Kagura’s voice at all during this whole trip. Had it always been that silent, that small?

 

Hijikata looked puzzled, as if he didn’t really know how to respond. Technically we weren’t any different from the other citizens, there was no reason to come back to us specially.

 

“We will. So just wait for us.” Hijikata said, taking us all by a surprise. Sougo gave a small smile and a nod before leaving with Hijikata. 

 

Usually I would have thrown in a joke before they left but I wasn’t really feeling that humorous. And as funny as it was, I really hoped for them to come back. The moment they left, I felt vulnerable, open. I think Kagura did too, there had been a sense of safety when they were with us.

 

 

The tension filled the air as Kagura, Sadaharu and I walked past the crowd. There was really no straight path open for the bridge but we didn’t want to stay and be crushed by the people so we decided to walk to the the edge of the mass. At some point I heard yelling and I noticed a young man push an elderly woman to the ground.

 

“Hey! Stop it!” I shouted before thinking, and ran between them. The man got spooked by me and simply escaped the situation by pushing past others. I groaned, this was getting out of hand.

 

“Thank you…” I helped the woman up, she looked a little shaken, who could blame her. “He’s a nice lad, just… A little stressed out.”  
I gave her a tired smile and patted the dirt of her clothes.  
“Aren’t we all… Will you be alright?” I asked carefully. She smiled and gently took my hands to hers.  
“I’m sure I will be. This is a terrible day for us all of course, but the humankind will push through.” She said and let go before walking off.  
I stared after her absent mindedly as Kagura caught up to me. 

 

“Was she alright?” She asked and Sadaharu whined. I looked down and stared at my own feet like there was anything interesting to see.  
“She said she would be.” I said, lifting my head.  
“Let’s wait here for them, I’d rather not wander in here.”  
Kagura nodded and dropped off from Sadaharu’s back. We sat down, leaning against the laying Sadaharu.

 

 

We sat there quietly for a long time. I don’t even know how long. Kagura leaned against my shoulder, she was wearing her long coat because the weather had gotten little cold. I remember watching how small she seemed, how powerless. I also remember feeling very powerless myself.

 

“I still can’t believe it.” 

 

She suddenly spoke. I lifted my hand around her and pulled her closer, I don’t know if it gave her any comfort but it did relax me at least.

 

“I’m sorry there wasn’t much time to grief.” I spoke after a while. She didn’t respond, just snuggled closer to me. I felt bad, I was like her father but I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t make her feel at ease. How could I? I wasn’t calm and collected when I should have been. I closed my eyes and rubbed her hand in slow calming movements. The sleep came to me surprisingly quickly, I must have been more tired than I thought.

 

 

“Yorozuya. Hey.” 

 

I really didn’t want to respond. I didn’t really feel like waking up at all. 

 

“Yorozuya, wake up. Yorozuya!”

 

I gasped from surprise when someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder. I had subconsciously gripped tightly from my wooden sword. I stared into Hijikata’s confused grey-blue eyes and blinked a few times before registering what I was seeing.

 

“Hijikata?” I breathed out. He sighed and straightened up. 

 

“What’s going-”  
“We need to leave.” I looked at him confused.  
“Wha-”  
“Now. We need to leave, we don’t have much time.” 

 

I stood up hastily with his help and turned to look at Kagura who was already awake, rubbing Sadaharu’s fur.

 

“What’s going on Hijikata?” I asked properly this time. He looks nervous, not to mention tensed up.  
“They’re going to blow up the bridges and everyone near the borders.” He suddenly said.  
I felt the color escape my face, shock filled my whole body.

 

Kagura looked shocked, she turned to look at the iron wall that had been put between the citizens and the bridges.

 

“I tried forcing my way through the barricade to talk with their leader but it was no use.” Hijikata said, looking pained.

 

“You assholes!” Kagura screamed and kicked the iron wall, it didn’t even budge. I looked at the people waiting for the gates to open at the other side of the wall. Kagura kicked the wall again.

 

“Stop it, it’s obvious the police and the army isn’t letting us through.” Sougo said, pulling her back from the wall.  
“Aren’t you guys supposed to be the police!?” Kagura angrily shouted back while trying to struggle against Sougo’s hold so that she could kick the wall again.  
“Only in this city. Besides, we tried. they won’t listen to us!” Sougo answered, obviously just as frustrated as she was.

 

“They’re going to blow out the bridges?” I asked in disbelief, I grabbed Hijikata’s shoulders. “They can’t do that! Those are…!”  
“...The only ways out of this city, I know. They know it too, that’s why they’re doing it. To stop the chance for the virus to spread.” Hijikata said, grabbing my hands.  
“It’s the only choice they got.”

 

I was shaking, I turned to look at the crowd. How could they…!

 

“Not only that…”  
I turned to look at Hijikata again. He looked more tense now than before. 

 

“...If they do blow up the bridges, this city might crack and sink.”  
“Crack..??” 

 

Hijikata swallowed. My grip from his shoulders tightened. 

 

“What do you mean it might crack!?”  
“When that huge tower was installed, a large amounts of pipes were built underneath the city. If the bridges get blown up, the explosions might cause them to blow up too, cracking the city from within and on a worst case scenario, sink us underneath the sea.” Hijikata explained. My grip from him didn’t lessen and he didn’t try to shake me off.

 

“They’re crazy! They’re going to kill us all!” Kagura shouted angrily, Sougo sighed at her.  
“No shit China. Think how many out there will be saved if us with the possible virus get wasted.” Sougo angrily hissed. Kagura tried to punch him but missed.

 

“That’s why we gotta go. As far away from the bridges as possible.” Hijikata said, glancing at the strong iron wall. “We might be able to sneak out of the city before things get hot.”  
“We have to warn them…”  
I mumbled, but Hijikata shook his head.  
“We already tried that, my men are trying to get the people retreat as we speak but it’s not doing much, as you can see. They’re too desperate and only see one way out.” Hijikata said, grabbing my wrists.  
“We can only save them if they want to be saved and right now we can only save ourselves. Are you coming with us or staying?”

 

I looked at him, then the others. There was really no option here.  
“I’m going to try to warn them!” I decided, letting go of him. 

 

I ran to the people and grabbed the first two from their shoulders.  
“They’re going to blow up this place! We have to run!”  
The two people looked at me confused and just tried to shrug me off. I tried the next ones. “You have to leave. We need to escape!”  
I tried, again and again. But no one would listen, instead I got these strange looks from them. As if I was crazy one. 

 

“You people need to listen to me-!”

 

My back hit the hard ground when someone pushed me, I lifted my eyes to see that everyone were ignoring me yet again. 

 

“Yorozuya.” 

 

“Please! They will kill us!”  
I tried to get up but once I did, Hijikata pulled me back.

 

“We need to go, now. There’s no more time.” Hijikata said sounding frustrated, I was surprised he hadn’t left.  
“Do you want to risk your foster daughter?”  
I turned to look at Kagura who seemed distressed, I swallowed and returned my gaze to the people.

 

“Fine…” 

 

I felt heavy saying those words. Hijikata pulled me with him.

 

“Sougo, we need to get going, call the men-!”

 

 

There was a loud sound when the fighter planes flew past us, I stared at them in shock.

 

“Run!” Hijikata shouted, I was frozen in place when the planes turned around.  
“Yorozuya!”  
“They’ve come to save us!” A random woman shouted, lifting her hands to the sky.  
Sougo pulled Kagura by her hand and started running, Sadaharu followed. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sky.

 

The planes suddenly dropped something towards the people who were filled with hope of survival.

 

What they dropped hit the ground hard, emitting a strong blow. I flew back from the shockwave and hit my head hard against the concrete.  
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see anything but smoke and dust filling the air. All I could hear was this high pitched ringing. Everything else was muffled.

 

I think I could somewhat make out crying, maybe screams. Pleads for help, I noticed the old woman I had helped before. She walked few steps before dropping to the ground, I think there were shards piercing her neck, I can’t remember that well.

 

“Yorozuya!” 

 

Through all that mess of muffled noise and high screeching, I could hear someone calling me. I saw a blurred figure run towards me and it took a moment before I could make out who it was. I couldn’t respond, I felt dizzy and I wanted to puke.  
Suddenly Hijikata yanked me up with force, He lifted my arm to his shoulder and started to drag me with him. I think he was shouting out, asking me to respond but I felt too shaken to say anything. All I could focus on, was the death around me.

 

 

After a moment my hearing was clearing up but it was still difficult to stay aware of what was happening.

 

“Gin-chan!”  
“Hijikata-san! This way!” 

 

I lifted my eyes to see Kagura and Sougo a bit further away. I tried to force strength in my legs, to make me move. To get us forward faster.  
Suddenly another loud noise filled my ears, the ground was filled with fractures that were splitting into cracks. 

 

Then I felt nothing under my feet, I felt my weight pulling me down.  
Pulling us down.

 

“Hijikata-san!”  
Sougo shouted out and suddenly my fall was stopped by Hijikata who had grabbed my hand. I looked down, under us there was a huge drop. There was a strong water current flowing through the cracks. I sweated, this was bad. I lifted my head to see what Hijikata was holding on. He was clinging to the smaller pipe that was coming out of the wall, or technically the ground.

 

It didn’t take long for me to realize, he couldn’t pull us up. Not me or himself unless let go of me.

 

“Hijikata…”  
“Keep quiet!” Hijikata stopped me before I could speak.  
“If you let go-!” 

 

Hijikata turned his head to look at me furiously, he looked already pained.  
“If you keep runnin your mouth, I’ll make you sorry!” Hijikata shouted and tried to pull me up with no success.

 

“Gin-chan!”  
Kagura tried to come to us, but was stopped by Sougo who looked worried. An expression I wasn’t used to seeing. Sougo dropped to the ground and tried to reach for Hijikata’s hand but there was no way for him to reach back.

 

“Let go of me! If you don’t you’ll fall!” I shouted, getting angry this time.  
“Shut up! If you got time to play a hero, then figure out a way for us to get out of this!” Hijikata shouted while trying to pull me up again. I looked at him shocked.  
“Are you an idiot!?” I angrily bit back and tried to scratch his hand to force him to let go.  
“Stop it you-!”

 

“Hijikata-san!”  
The ground shook again, this time dropping rocks to the cracks. Hijikata looked up and to his shock, one of the rocks flew right at him.

 

I opened my mouth to shout, there was a nasty sound when the rock made contact with Hijikata’s head. Hijikata’s grip from the pipe loosened and soon he let go of it entirely.

 

“Gin-chan!!” Kagura screamed out and I think Sougo did too but I couldn’t be sure.

 

I instinctively pulled Hijikata closer, I didn’t know why at the time but now when I think about it, it must have been because I was afraid of being alone. Afraid of losing the only familiarity I had in the situation.

 

I closed my eyes and wrapped my hands around him. I took a deep breath and then our bodies hit the cold water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this project for a while now but only now I got inspiration to get this story going! This is going to be eventual Ginhiji with a little SouKagu added! 
> 
> I’m planning on updating this fic regularly and I have to thank Sureva who is reading this and correcting any mistakes I might have!
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


	2. Lonely mind

 

 

 

It was dark all around. It felt like it was suffocating me, filling my lungs with this blackness that wrapped around my body.

 

I tried to scream. For who? I didn’t know exactly, for anyone who would listen.

But no one responded, I heard nothing but my own panic rising from within. I could not breathe nor think straight. I started to feel tired, I should just fall into the deep slumber. Never to wake up to the nightmare that was real.

  


Suddenly I was pulled to the cold reality. I gasped out loudly and opened my eyes. Everything was blurry, and it took a moment for me to make out where I was and what had happened. I was laying against a cold and hard surface, but I was outside. I could make out the sun hiding behind the destroyed building.

  
“Wha-” My voice sounded hoarse and I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sudden light. I tried to get up but there was something weighing heavily on me. I looked down to see what was on top of me and my eyes widened in shock when I realized what, or more like who, it was.

 

“Hijikata!”

My body screamed in protest when I forced myself to sit up. Hijikata was still lying motionless against me. I tried to remember what had happened but my head was a mess. I lowered my hand from my face and returned my gaze to Hijikata.

 

“Hey, Hijikata wake up.”

 

I tried to shake him but he did not respond. I felt the fear creep it’s way to my heart as I gently lowered him to the ground next to me. I leaned in, trying to hear if he was breathing. To my shock, he wasn’t.

 

“No…”

 

I quickly got up to my knees, ignoring the pain. “Nonononono, no you won't!”

 

He might have water in his lungs, we were both wet and who knew how long we had been underwater. Not long enough for me to have drown so maybe...

 

I swallowed, and carefully opened his mouth to give him CPR.

“Don’t you dare to die on me.” I cursed before blowing air to his lungs. I got back up and started pressing.

 

“Hijikata!”

 

Suddenly Hijikata spit out water and coughed. I looked at him with my heart in my throat, unsure of what to do. I slowly pat his back, hoping for him to spit it all out. Soon he stopped and went to lay down again.

For a moment I was really afraid he’d died; but luckily when I checked, he was breathing now. I let out a heavy sigh, Hijikata was alive.

Unconscious but still alive.

 

I moved his hair from his face, there was a nasty wound on his right temple. It had mostly stopped bleeding so his life wasn’t in any danger; as long as I made sure that he wouldn’t die of hypothermia. We were both wet and truth to be told, now that the sun was going down it was getting really cold. I shivered and turned to look around, hoping to figure out where exactly we were.

 

It was more difficult than I thought. All I could see were ruins of what used to be my town, used to be my home.

I let out a silent sob; that was all I could do before realizing that I had no time to grief even now. I decided to just swallow my tears and instead I focused on lifting Hijikata up. He felt heavy but I didn’t care, I lifted him up on my back so that I could carry him to somewhere we could warm up and I could treat his wound.

 

“Just hold on you bastard.” I mumbled to Hijikata who was leaning against my shoulder. I slowly stepped forward and I had to stop right away since my knees felt like they could give in. I then took a deep breath before continuing.

“You need to lose weight.” I said with a dry laugh and I could almost hear him, saying my habit of dealing with stressful situations with humor annoys him, inside my head.

 

When I looked around the broken streets, I recognized one of the buildings.  
“I must be close to the main street, how far did we drift?” I mumbled, and suddenly my legs froze. I swear I had heard it, a low screech nearby.

We weren’t the only ones who had survived the bombing. I felt my breathing get heavier as I frantically looked for a place to hide myself and Hijikata.

 

I decided to hide inside one of the shops. I tried to push the door open but it broke down, falling to the ground with a loud thud. I cursed silently, because I could tell that whatever had made the sound before, had definitely heard me now.

 

“Mh..”

  
“Not now Hijikata, please keep all your hands and legs inside the ride at all times.” I mumbled as I looked for anything that I could hide us in. Behind the counter, that was the only idea I had. I moved quickly under the counter table and lowered Hijikata first. I then hid under it as well.

 

I could hear it, better than before. It was definitely closer now and I found myself instinctively pulling Hijikata closer on my lap. I held my breath when broken glass was stepped on.

 

One bite and it would be over. I was strong -I might have been able to fight it, but what if I made a mistake. What if, it would have been able to bite me during our fight.

 

Image of Shinpachi came to my mind and I could feel the cold sweat on my back. I was silently begging, for the thing that was in the same space as I was, to leave.

 

I heard a scream outside, and whatever was near the door let out a low growl; before running off. I let out a sigh, then it hit me.

There was someone alive out there. I touched my wooden sword but something prevented me from pulling it. I needed to go, why wasn’t I moving?

My body felt heavy and my mouth was dry, I heard the cries and bit my lip.

_Move god damn it! Move-!_

I moved from under Hijikata and gently put him down. I then stopped, as I heard a horrid sound of bones breaking; the woman’s screams stopped. I felt myself shaking as I slowly slid down to my knees.

 

I hadn’t moved, that woman was dead and I could have helped, but all I could think was; _at least it wasn’t me._

 

It disgusted me, I disgusted me. What was wrong with me, how could a person change like this. How could fear infect my every limb and made me unable to move when someone needed me?

 

“Oh god…” I mumbled quietly, but there was no god. No one who could respond to me. There was only silence now that whatever it was, had taken the woman.

  


As I suffered with my thoughts, I heard a quiet breathing. I turned my head to see Hijikata still lay silently against the counter wall.

There was still someone, someone I could help. Someone who could respond to me.

I just needed to find us shelter and not get caught while at it.

  
  
  


After what seemed like forever, I finally found a suitable place to hide in. It was a small apartment with door left open, and the door itself seemed really sturdy, so it wouldn’t break down easily. The apartment was empty, yet it was as if someone was still living there. And something was living there just a day ago; I reminded myself.

I carried Hijikata to the bed before returning to close the front door quietly.

 

I walked to the bed and sat down, my body felt cold and heavy. Hijikata sneezed and I remembered that he must have been cold as well, considering our clothes still hadn’t dried. Last thing we needed was either one of us getting sick. I dropped my white kimono to the ground before lifting it up to dry.

Then I turned to look at Hijikata and sweated.

 

“Sorry… Don’t be angry with me morning after~” I said, with a joking yet nervous tone. My voice didn’t have the usual cheerfulness in it. I gently unfastened the white scarf around his neck and then moved to remove his jacket.

 

He mumbled something and that made me halt for a moment. I stared at his face for a bit, then looked back to his clothes.

 

“We’re both men and you’re completely straight.”

 

I didn’t know why I was feeling embarrassed as I was undressing him. Maybe it was better that way or else I wouldn’t have been able to do it at all.

 

Soon I had unclothed him completely, only thing left was his boxers and I decided that those could stay on, as I wrapped the warm blanket around him. I had to hope a man lived in here, so that he could wear that until our clothes had dried up.

I sighed when I put his clothes to dry. I would need to check his wound, clean it and then treat it. I could feel the headache closing in.

 

I was hungry, as ironic as it sounded I really was hungry. I hadn’t eaten much when we left, and truth to be told, I wouldn’t have eaten what I did, if Hijikata hadn’t pushed me.

 

There was no electricity but maybe some food had been left behind? We had packed a lot of food but Kagura had our share and Sougo had theirs.

 

Kagura…

 

I looked down as I tried to remember what happened. The fighter planes had arrived out of thin air, bombing everything from their way. I had been too shocked to move, and Hijikata had come to help me. Afterwards we were separated, because of the ground cracking open and swallowing us.

 

I could only hope they were alright. Kagura had a monster strength and Sougo was skilful, so they should be able to handle any danger together, but I couldn’t shake the excruciating fear; that I was wrong.

 

I decided to check the fridge for food. There wasn’t really much, but at least I was able to make bread with cucumber on top, no less.

I gave a dry chuckle, this sucked. A big time.

 

As I ate I tried looking for any bandages but to my disappointment the medical cabinet was empty, they must have taken everything when they evacuated.

 

I found some towels so I hoped that the water would still work. With low hopes I tested the water tap. To my surprise water was still working. This side of the town must have had it’s own water supply. I jumped in joy as I filled a small bucket. I then damped the towel before running to the bedroom.

 

Hijikata looked calm at least, I sat next to him and carefully started cleaning the wound on his forehead. He mumbled in his sleep, I smiled nervously. He seemed to be warming up, which was good.

 

I shivered slightly, my body felt cold too. I looked at the closed curtains, I wouldn’t dare to sleep. No matter how tired I was, I wouldn’t take the risk.

  
  


I was sitting under the blanket, leaning against the wall. Hijikata still asleep next to me, or at least I hoped he was just sleeping. His wound looked better now at least, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that he could die at any moment. I tapped my fingers on my knee that was under blanket.

I started wondering if Hijikata would ever wake up, what if he wouldn’t? I closed my eyes.

 

Was I going to be alone in here?

  
  


“Yorozuya…” I opened my eyes in shock and turned around to face Hijikata. His eyes were slightly open and even though he had slept the whole day he looked tired.

My heart jumped in joy, I could barely contain myself. What kind of face should I make in this situation?

 

“You’re alive.” I whispered voice shaking, he groaned in response.

 

“Where are we?” he asked, voice sounding rougher than usual.

“That’s not...an easy question to answer.” I admitted, not moving my glance from his face.

“I think we’re near the main town, or a part which used to belong to the main town.”

 

He looked like he was trying to process the information given. He then sighed and blinked, I could tell he wasn’t taking things as calmly as he tried to let out.

 

“Sougo and the china girl?”

 

“We got separated. I haven’t seen anyone living nor dead since I woke up.” I lied, how could I have told him the truth? That I had ran into someone who hadn’t turned but I had been too afraid of dying to save her. Her screams echoed inside my head and I could feel the guilt eating me.

Hijikata was staring at me for a while, and I almost could swear he knew it wasn't the whole truth, but he didn’t choose to press on it. He wasn’t really pushy by nature and while it used to irritate me, I was thankful of it now.

 

“How long was I out?” Hijikata asked, turning to look away from me.

He tried to sit up but when he did, he flinched in pain. The wound on his head must have still hurted like hell considering how pained he looked. I patted his back slightly, he flinched but didn’t pull away.

 

“I don’t know how long we were both out, but it was already an evening by the time I awoke. You were out few hours longer than I was.” I explained, fiddling the edge of the blanket.

He looked puzzled but then nodded.

 

“Last question, my clothes? My sword?”

“Your clothes were wet so I put them to dry and as for you sword, it’s leaning against the counter there. I was surprised we both still had our weapons considering the strength of the current.” I said, looking at him expectantly.

He stared at his sword for the longest time and there was silence in the air. While I usually had been okay with silence, now it felt suffocating. I desperately needed to hear someone speak so that I would be reminded that I wasn’t alone.

 

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly said, taking me by a surprise.

“Huh?”

He turned to look at me and repeated what he said.

 

“Sorry for what?”

Hijikata sighed at my question.

“I’m sorry for dragging you down. It must have been hard for you to carry me around.” Hijikata said, sounding irritated. I stared at him wide-eyed before bursting into laughing. He stared at me shocked but I just couldn’t stop.

 

“I guess we’re even then.” I said, actually grinning. He looked little pissed off by it.

 

“Well technically I saved you twice.” He said, sounding cocky. I smirked.

 

“I saved you twice as well!” I said, leaning against my hand with a knowingly smile. He turned to look at me confused.

 

“Considering you almost drowned and all, Gin-chan here had to give you mouth to mouth, hope it wasn’t your first kiss or anything~!”

 

His mouth had dropped open and he looked slightly embarrassed.

 

I started laughing at his expression, he got even more pissed off and tried to get up from the bed again.

“Wait, wait!” I pushed him to lay down again, he obviously wasn’t pleased by it. “You can’t get up yet, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not a kid who you can scold.” Hijikata said, and this time it was my turn to be irritated.

“If you’re not a brat, then stop acting like one and lay down, for christ sake! Or do you want me to protect you rest of the way?”

That made him listen, he huffed and simply layed back down. I sighed in relief before getting up, his pride was an easy place to press on.

 

“Where are you going?” He asked me, I turned around with a small grin.

“Why? You going to be lonely?” I asked with a teasing tone, he simply sighed and then turned on his side.

“Forget I asked.”  
“Don’t get mad, I was joking. I’m just going to go make you something to eat~” I said, waving my hand. He didn’t turn to look at me so I decided to make my way to the kitchen.

 

“Thank you.” He suddenly said, making me look back. I stared at his turned back from the doorway, waiting for him to say something else. But the moment passed and neither of us spoke. I then turned again and gave a faint smile that he could not see.

 

“Anytime.” I said, making my way to the kitchen. While I often dealt with my problems with humor, it didn’t mean that I was carefree.

 

I didn’t close the bedroom door, for my own reasons. Like a child afraid of the dark, I felt safer knowing that I wasn’t separated from him even if we were in different rooms.

 

And I hoped for things to stay that way, because there was no one to tell me not to be afraid of the dark. Unlike the children, I had no night lamp. Because even though there were no monsters under our beds, there were monsters outside our heads.

 

And those monsters were real.

Very, very real.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 posted~
> 
> I decided to post regularly every Saturday of my country's time.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and stay tuned for more!
> 
>  
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


	3. Looming horde

  
  
  


There was a sound of the door. 

I lifted my head from the pillow, shocked that I had fallen asleep. I touched the spot next to me. Hijikata-!

 

“You’re awake.” 

 

I turned to look at the man leaning against the doorframe, now fully clothed.

  
“Hijikata…” 

I sat up, how could I fall asleep like this? I was supposed to keep an eye out. But never mind that. 

“Where were you?” I asked. He dropped a bag on the floor and sighed.

“I was looking for supplies, thought you could use the rest so I looked for a house key. I was in luck since the owner had left his keys at home.” Hijikata said. 

I didn’t know why but I got irritated by it.

 

“You could have gotten hurt. You’ve just healed, what if someone had attacked you?” I asked, getting up from the bed. He looked at me unimpressed and simply sighed again.

“Relax, I didn’t go far. I only searched this stairways apartments, it’s very unlikely to run into one here anyway, since this was the first place to evacuate.” 

I looked away, it wasn’t unlikely and there still had been people here. But I couldn’t tell that to him.

 

I pulled my kimono down from the door, it had completely dried up now though it looked a little dirty. Blame it on the color, white dirties easily.

I put it on me, tying up the belt around it. I then took my wooden sword, glad my belt hadn’t broken so I could carry the sword with it.

  
“So where are we headed?” I asked. Hijikata turned to me and then pointed at the bag he had gotten for us.   
“I only found enough for us to last today. We’ll need to find the mall that should be nearby, if it’s not completely destroyed, that is.” Hijikata explained to me, and then offered me a sandwich that had no cucumber on it. 

“There was none left from yesterday.” He said, as if knowing what I had been thinking.

 

“What about you?” I asked, sounding worried. He chuckled and then threw the bread to me.

“I ate in the morning, you don’t have to worry.” 

“Okay…” I didn’t talk back to him and quickly devoured my sandwich before we left the apartment. 

The sun was high up so I could only imagine how long I had been sleeping. Stress will do that for you I guess.

  
  
  
  


It was strange. When I had carried Hijikata here, everything had looked cold, lifeless. While it still was pretty lifeless, I felt more calm than I had yesterday. It was surprising, how different things were with Hijikata awake and responding now.

 

Things were pretty quiet between us, I occasionally threw icebreaker jokes but Hijikata had no humor so I soon gave up. 

I looked around us, the tall buildings were broken and leaning against each other. Smaller ones were only slightly broken but some had been cracked half when the earth broke apart.

  
  


While we walked next to one opening, I kept my eye on the water, that moved between the two pieces of what used to be full city. I could see the pipes that had exploded and split everything apart, they were just as huge as I had imagined.

 

“Shit.” 

I turned to look at Hijikata and then moved my gaze to the huge mall in front of us. It was in two, one of the cracks went right through it.

 

“Do you think the food department is on this side?” I asked, he didn’t comment on my tone.    
“I’m not sure but we better hope so.” Hijikata said, looking for something. He then cursed when he was unable to find it.

“What is it?” I asked, trying to figure out what he was missing. He then groaned and stopped looking through his pockets.

“Nothing.” 

He started walking again, irritation showing on his face. It took me a moment, I tried thinking of the things Hijikata usually needed. There was no use for phones, we lost them during our fall and besides it was most likely that they had ran out of battery.

As for little bit of food and water, we had in our bag. We also had our swords…

 

I tried remembering what Hijikata was like before all this happened and then it hit me.

He was missing his cigarettes! He was a smoker, well maybe this was a good chance to quit. Maybe turn to sweets, like I did?

I chuckled slightly of idea of replacing his smokes with a lollipop. 

 

“What are you grinning, c’mon!” Hijikata snarled. I lifted my hands in defeat but I did play with the image.

  
  


Hijikata and I moved to each side of the big mall doors. I glanced at the mall, it seemed empty enough. He nodded at me and we pushed the doors open quietly. Both of us were holding our hands on our swords, just in case.

“Where should we start…?” I whispered, afraid of making too much noise. He looked thoughtful before turning to me.

“I think we should split up to find anything useful-”

“No!” I interrupted rather loudly, and his expression became shocked as he put his hand over my mouth while hushing. We stayed up until we were sure no one had heard me.

 

“Are you out of your mind? Do you want us to get killed?” Hijikata hissed after dropping his hand. 

“You’re the one out of your mind. Do you not watch movies? In horror movies the ones who split up always die first.” I angrily whispered back to him.

“This isn’t a movie Yorozuya.” Hijikata said.

“Movies are made so that the survivors die, I rather not follow their logic.” I explained, he looked pissed but then agreed.

 

“Fine, but for the love of god keep your voice down.” He said before moving forward. 

 

We looked for a map of the place. Finally I found it and pointed at the top of the map.

“Lucky~ It’s on this side.” I whispered to him. He came to take a closer look and let out a relieved sigh. 

“We’re here so it should be this way.” Hijikata said, pointing at the stairs.

“Let me guess, the uppest floor where it might be the most dangerous?” I guessed, he turned to look at me with a smirk.

  
  
  
  


After more than a few stairs, we finally reached the highest floor. The shop looked messed up, everything had fallen from the shelves and anything fragile was in a million pieces. It also seemed like there had been a fight of food when the catastrophe started. 

 

“Hopefully we’ll find what we’re looking for.” I quietly whispered and Hijikata nodded to it.

Hijikata turned to me but I glared back at him. “Don’t you dare to suggest us to split up.”

 

He lifted his hand in defeat and then returned back to what he was doing.

  
  
  


We searched all over, Hijikata found us bigger bags. Big enough to fit in food but not too big to slow us down. Luckily, people had left in a hurry, there was a lot of good stuff to salvage. Food, drinks and everything else that was useful. 

After a while, I noticed a small package on the floor. I picked it up and called out to Hijikata, he stopped what he was doing to see what I had to offer.

 

“Here, you needed this right?” I said, throwing the package to him. He looked confused as he turned it around to reveal it was in fact a cigarette package.

 

“Thanks… Although it’s no good without a lighter.” He said, putting it in his pocket anyways. I grinned.   
“I’m sure we’ll find one from here. What big mall doesn’t have a lighter.” I said, continuing what I was doing. He looked slightly amused and I couldn’t help but to think it was a good thing, even with things as fucked up as they were at the time.

  
  


“I think this is enough for now.” Hijikata said, lifting the bag on his back. I did the same with mine, after filling it up completely.

“So now what?” I asked. He looked like he hadn’t thought that far.   
“I guess now, we’ll try to find a way to cross the border while keeping ourselves alive.” Hijikata said after a moment.    
“Wasn’t the border destroyed?” 

Hijikata sighed at me, but in my mind it was a valid question.

“That’s what I meant by us finding a way to cross. I know the direction, just not the means for crossing.” Hijikata explained and stepped forward.

  
  
  


Clang! 

  
  
  


I turned to look at Hijikata who started to sweat. He had accidentally kicked a metal can, it jumped down the stairs. Loudly.

 

“...Fuck.” I breathed out when we heard the cries of the awakening zombies. The screeching went straight to my head, my instincts screamed at me to run.

 

“We gotta go.” Hijikata gasped. I didn’t hesitate either, we both started running like crazy.

  
  


“Nicely done!” I shouted as we ran. He looked at me angrily.   
“Why don’t you focus more on running with your legs rather than with you mouth!?” Hijikata shouted at me. 

Suddenly one of the zombies jumped from behind us. Hijikata managed to pull me to the side just in time and we changed the direction.

 

“I was just thinking!” 

Hijikata turned to look at me annoyed.

“Thinking of what!?” Hijikata asked me as I started to feel nervous.

 

“Wasn’t this mall split in half?”

  
  


Just as I said it, we ran out of running space. I managed to grab Hijikata right before he fell down.

 

“Now what!?” Hijikata felt frustrated. I had to admit that I felt little hopeless as well.

I looked behind, a loud screech came from the halls. I bit my lip.

 

“We gotta jump.” I said, turning to look at the other half of the mall. The jump was pretty far, there was a pretty good chance we would fail it.

 

“You’re crazy!” Hijikata shouted.

“You got better ideas!?” I yelled, we were running out of time. Hijikata turned to look at the jump and then sighed.

  
  


I ran a bit back, I could hear the sounds of the zombies coming closer. I started running, and Hijikata prepared his hands to give me a boost. He boosted me up, and for a moment I felt like everything slowed down for me. 

I held my breath, and soon I collided with the floor on the other side. I felt my body slide down, but I managed to stop the fall by grabbing a small iron rod that had been pushed outside of the floor. I sighed as I pulled myself up, then I turned to look at Hijikata who looked rather worried.

 

“There’s no way I’ll make it!” Hijikata shouted. I lifted my arms towards him.

 

“You have to make it! Don’t worry, I’ll catch you!” 

 

To be honest, the chances were pretty slim for him to be able to jump without me accidentally dropping him. Nervousness showed on his face but he disappeared from the sight. I started to feel really worried, but soon I saw him again. He leaped and reached for me. I leaned forward, ready to catch him.

 

Then my eyes noticed something else jump after him. Our hands met, and I could feel his fingertips but to my shock, I couldn’t catch him.

 

“Hijikata!” 

 

I fell down on my knees. I saw him! 

He was holding onto the edge of the lower floor. But soon something fell, and grabbed his leg. 

 

It was one of the zombies! 

  
  


Hijikata grunted as he tried to kick the zombie away without falling. I sweated and pondered my options. 

Soon, I decided to grab one of the cans from the bag and threw it at the zombie holding onto him. It clashed with the zombies head, making a nasty sound of something breaking, as it let go and fell with a loud scream.

 

Hijikata sighed and looked up towards me.

  
  


“Told you that you could make it.” I shouted with a laugh. He grinned back at me, obviously happy that he had survived. He wasn’t the only one.

“You also told me you’d catch me!” He bit back with a smirk before pulling himself up.

 

“Meet you downstairs!”

 

I happily nodded and got quickly up. I ran fast, but avoided making too much sound just in case. We ran into each other shortly after.

  
  
  


“I can’t believe you wasted our resources…” Hijikata said, sighing while we walked down the stairs. 

“I can’t believe you’re whining about that when I saved your life.” I mumbled. I heard him let out a silent chuckle. That made me smile a bit.

“Thank you, anyways.” He silently said, I stopped and smiled more widely. For some reason that had made me feel like Hijikata appreciated me being around, just as much as I appreciated him. I turned around, grinning.

 

“Soon you’ll owe me more than-” 

 

My eyes widened as I saw zombie appear out of nowhere behind Hijikata. It’s mouth opened wide as it prepared to bite down.

  
  
  


“HIJIKATA!!!”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 finished~!
> 
> I hope you find reading it as enjoyable as it was for me to write it! Until next week~
> 
>  
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


	4. Safety first!

  
  
  
  
  


“HIJIKATA!!”

  
  


I could feel my heart get stuck in my throat. 

I jumped towards them, I needed to save him. I reached out to him, screaming out his name. 

My body felt heavy, slow. I was not fast enough, how could this be-?

  
  


Suddenly a loud sound emitted. To my shock, the zombie fell backwards, as if it had been hit. 

That’s when I realized it, Hijikata had tilted his sword so that he hit the zombie in the jaw, with the other end of his sword, without even looking back. 

 

Neither I nor the zombie had enough time to react, when Hijikata did a full body turn and pulled out his sword. For a moment, nothing happened, then the zombie fell to the ground and it’s head rolled near my feet.

  
  


I lifted my eyes off it, it looked disgusting and to be honest I would have puked if I had kept my eyes on it too long. 

Hijikata let out sigh before putting his sword back to it’s sheath. He then turned to look at me, I was still in daze, my body was in survivor mode. I was shaking and my throat felt dry, and as unmanly as it sounds I almost felt like tearing up.

 

“That was a close one.” Hijikata sighed. I bit down before exploding.

 

“Close… CLOSE!?” 

 

He turned to look at me surprised. I grabbed his shoulders, receiving a confused stare.

 

“You could have died! How much of an idiot are you! You’re supposed to be a trained soldier how could you let something that dangerous attack you from behind!?”

 

“Nothing happened, why are you so hysterical?” Hijikata asked, dismissing my angry burst.

 

“But something COULD have happened! Why don’t you get that! I can’t lose you too!!”

 

“Too? Yorozuya you’re not making any sense. Anyway you need to calm down, if you won’t, there’s a chance something we do not want will be able to hear us.” Hijikata said, pushing my hands aside. 

  
“Yorozuya this, Yorozuya that… Can’t you see that we’re not Yorozuya and Shinsengumi Vice-commander anymore! I’m just Sakata Gintoki while you’re Hijikata Toshiro, we’re just two men trying to survive in this hell. I don’t need your stupid ‘I got it handled’ tone with me!”

 

A loud sound echoed in the room once Hijikata’s hand made contact with my head. I felt shocked as I lifted my hand to my temple, had Hijikata just slapped me on the head?

 

“Sakata, now it’s time you’d calm down.” Hijikata said, using my last name instead of my old occupation. I stared at him, still baffled. He sighed and then crossed his hands. 

“Don’t act like I don’t understand how you’re feeling. I get it perfectly, you’re scared of being left alone. I am too, I have been ever since Kondo died.”

 

I lowered my hand with the pinch of guilt in my gut. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, I didn’t have to kill anyone dear to me. With Shinpachi, I would have died if Hijikata hadn’t rescued me when he did. But he, there was no one to do it for him. When Kondo turned, he was the one who had had to make the tough decision. I looked down, feeling extremely guilty.

 

“...I’m not expecting your guilt.” 

 

I lifted my eyes to him. Hijikata sighed again and then patted my shoulder. 

“I told you, I get it. I get why you’re acting this way but you need to hold it togethe,r Sakata. Or else we won’t make it out of here.”

 

I stared at him, unable to speak. He gave me a faint smile before dropping his hand from my shoulder. He turned to look at me with his ice-blue eyes.

 

“I need to know that I can trust you to keep my back.”

 

I looked down but then returned my eyes upwards.    
“You can count on me.” I promised. He looked at me for a while, before lifting the bag that had fallen on the ground during the surprise attack. He then smiled back at me.

 

“That was all I needed to hear, now c’mon. We have a long day ahead of us.”

I nodded and followed after him. 

  
  
  


I really thought back then it was only because I needed someone, anyone, that I had been so desperate.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


I was surprised that on this side of the mall there were no zombies around, no food shops either, but I did find a candy shop.

 

“Really?” Hijikata asked me when I checked all the goods and put some in my bag.

“Hey, you have your things. Don’t judge.” I said and walked to him, while opening a lollipop.

 

“We don’t need can- uhmp!” 

I pushed the lollipop in his mouth.

 

“Lighten up. What is life worth without sweets and until we find you a lighter, this can keep your mouth busy.” I said to him. He looked like he had more to say but didn’t feel like arguing, so all I got was a low growl before he walked forward. I smirked at him while catching up to him.

  
  


Other thing I noticed now that I had calmed down, was that Hijikata had started to call me me by my last name. He didn’t call me Yorozuya, but Sakata. It felt a little confusing as everyone else just called me by my first name. I wasn’t used to being called with my last name that was given to me after I got adopted.

 

Well, not that Hijikata knew that so I just kept quiet. Besides, it was better to be called with my name rather than with my occupation, that wasn’t even my occupation anymore.

  
  


“Sakata?” 

 

I was pulled away from my thoughts. 

“You ran out of lollipop? I got more.” I asked and he clicked his tongue, blush showing on his cheek.

“That’s not it!” He angrily hissed, pulling the lollipop from his mouth. He had eaten it completely though, must have been because of him being deprived of cigarettes. 

“I said, this looks like a good place to rest and eat.”

  
  


I tilted my head and looked around. We were on a bridge that was inside the city, so it hadn’t broken much surprisingly. It was pretty high up, we would see if anyone were to come, so we wouldn’t be surprised. But there were also hiding places nearby if we did get attacked. Cars all around. 

I sighed and then jumped on the rooftop of the car, settling down. He did the same and pulled a can from his bag.

  
  


“Did you remember to get us the can opener.” I asked. He turned to look at me with shocked eyes.

“I told YOU to get it! How could you forget? How will we get these open now!” He shouted angrily, and I could tell he was itching to throw the can at my face. I pointed at his sword.

 

“We could use your sword?” I suggested, he looked even more shocked now.

“There is no way! It would dull it!” He angrily yelled. I then started to laugh, unable to keep the straight face.

“Sorry, sorry. I was messing with you. Here we go.” I said, lifting the can opener from my bag.

  
  


So afterwards I got the can to my face, but I guess I kinda deserved it.

  
  
  
  
  


“Do you think the infection spread outside our city?” I asked while eating. Hijikata put down his food can and turned to look at sea. 

“No one can say…” Hijikata said sighing. 

“I truly hope not, otherwise all this is pretty useless.”

“Isn’t that pretty negative? We’ve done well so far.” I said, finishing my share. He chuckled and turned to me.

“Weren’t you the one who said we’ve had too many close to death -situations?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

  
  


“Do you miss them?” 

 

I turned to look at Hijikata who glanced at me.    
“Miss who?” I asked, he crossed his fingers. I could tell he was uncomfortable. It took me a moment before I realized what he meant.

 

“ _ Gin-chan! _ ”

 

Kagura’s voice was ringing in my mind like a bell. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten them, it was more like….

 

“I do, it’s just, I prefer not to think about it. At least until we’re safe.”

 

Hijikata stared at me for a while before nodding.

“You’re right.” He said, before getting up. 

“We’ve rested long enough, let’s go.”

 

I couldn’t have agreed more. I threw the can to the side, I heard it hit something other than the concrete ground. It was a complete change that I turned to look where it landed. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.

 

“Hijikata!” 

 

Hijikata turned to look at me surprised.

“This…!”

I jumped down from the car and ran to the can, or more specifically to the thing that it had hit. 

 

Red umbrella with built-in gun was lying on the ground. I lifted it up with shaking hands; it was Kagura’s, no doubt about it!

I turned to look at Hijikata and I swear he looked just as hopeful as I did.

The umbrella wasn’t covered in blood, but it did look like it was left in a hurry.

 

“Hijikata, this is means…” My voice trembled. 

 

“...that the bombing didn’t kill them.” Hijikata finished my thought before I could.

  
  


“We need to find them!” I shouted, getting up a little clumsily due to my excitement. 

“If they’re alive then it’s up to us to search for them!”

 

“Relax, I hear you but we can’t let our guards down. If they left the umbrella behind, that must mean something dangerous surprised them.” Hijikata said, but also shared my enthusiasm. 

“Where do you think they went?” I asked, looking around.

“I don’t know but-”

“Kagura! If you can hear me! Please answer!” I shouted, Hijikata quickly put his hand over my mouth and lifted his finger to his lips to hush me.

 

“Shut up! Do you want us to be found by the thing that scared them before we can even start looking?” He scolded me. I bit my lip but nodded.

“Yeah, sorry. I just couldn’t contain myself…” I whispered. 

Hijikata sighed and then turned to look behind me.

 

“Dodge!” 

 

Hijikata pulled me down behind the car, when suddenly someone opened up fire right at us. I was surprised but then I thought, there was no way a zombie could know how to hold a gun or even use it for that matter.

 

“It’s a machine gun!” Hijikata yelled, while trying to see under car.

 

“Why don’t you guys have guns!? Weren't you the police?” I shouted back at him.   
“Now is not the time to be a smartass! We just prefer swords! Always have! Why do you not have any actual weapon beside a wooden sword!?” He answered with a snarl.

“If you really wish to know, I fought in a war where I used the real sword more than enough! I refuse to use one to kill!” I said, now just as angry.

“I already knew you fought in a war! I also know you were called war criminal White demon!” Hijikata said, surprising me.

  
“If you knew that then why didn’t you arrest me!?” I shouted. He turned to me and grabbed my collar.

 

“Do you want to have this conversation now when we’re about to get wasted or do you want to help me to save our asses??” He yelled. I swallowed, he was right. Now was not the time for question.

 

“Okay, first we need to get their attention, once they stop firing.” I said. He looked at me confused.

 

“You want to talk to them!?” He asked dumbfounded.

“They’re just scared of us, okay!? We could use help ourselves and besides, they might know where Kagura and Okita went.” I explained, and he groaned at me.

  
  


Soon the fire stopped. I nodded at Hijikata who sighed.

 

“Wait!” I shouted, lifting my hands. 

“We’re no danger to you! Please stop shooting!”

Hijikata stared at me nervously. I kept quiet until we heard the clear voice of a young man.

 

“Why should we trust you! Have you been bitten!?”

 

I felt relieved, they wouldn’t shoot mindlessly.

 

“We are not bitten! There’s an officer with me too, from Shinsengumi!”

“Shinsengumi…!? You’re lying! All of the officers from Shinsengumi died during the bombing!” Suddenly Hijikata’s eyes widened and he pulled me closer.

 

“I know this voice!” He whispered before lifting his hands too.

 

“Yamazaki! It’s me!” 

 

There was a moment of silence and I started to feel nervous.

 

“...Vice-commander!?” 

 

I sighed in relief as we both got up from behind the car.

  
  


A young black haired man in a Shinsengumi uniform let out a surprised yelp when he noticed Hijikata. 

 

“It’s okay everyone! I know these two!”

 

He ran to us and to our surprise, he hugged Hijikata.

“I was sure you were dead!” He said, almost crying. Even though Hijikata felt a little uncomfortable, he patted Yamazaki’s head with the calmest smile I had seen him do.

 

“Sorry for worrying you.” 

Yamazaki looked at him shocked before tearing up again.

“Vice-commander! I will follow you forever, you’re so kind!” He cried. Hijikata pushed him away, obviously embarrassed, and if I didn’t know myself any better I could have sworn I felt a little jealous. Weird, huh?

  
  


I noticed little a small group of people who obviously were normal citizens, and aside the scratches they looked fine.

 

“Yamazaki who are these people?” Hijikata asked, Yamazaki turned to look at the group and then smiled.

“They’re the only ones who believed me when I warned them about the bombing. There are also others in our hideout.” Yamazaki explained. Hijikata looked at me surprised and I returned his gaze with same confusion.

 

“Hideout?” I asked, he then turned to us with a wide smile.

 

“Our Shinsengumi headquarters were undamaged by the explosions and cracks. It’s also surrounded by water the most part, and for some reason zombies don’t really care for water. Not to mention the strong walls. There is only one way in, and we guard it.” Yamazaki explained. 

I looked at him surprised, and then turned to look at Hijikata who looked shocked.

 

“One more question, have you seen Kagura? What about Okita?” I asked. Yamazaki’s smile widened even more.

  
  


“Come with us!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


When we reached the headquarters, I noticed obvious discomfort in Hijikata. I couldn’t really figure out why he was feeling that way, his home was in one piece after all. 

 

“Hijikata, you alright?” I asked. He turned to look at me a little surprised, but then shook his head.

 

“I’m fine.” He said, crossing his arms. A obvious sign of discomfort, I thought to myself.

  
  


“You found others?” A woman asked from Yamazaki, who then nodded.

“Yeah, I found two of the most capable people I know. Do you know where the china girl and Okita are?” He asked. The woman glanced at me, and then nodded.

 

“They’re probably in the main hall, that’s where I saw them argue last time.

I laughed a little awkwardly, considering I knew what Kagura could be like.

  
  


Hijikata smiled at me, and we both made our way to the main hall. I opened the hall doors and not too long after my heart jumped in joy.

 

“Kagura!” 

 

She turned to look at me surprised, before her expression lightened in the matter of seconds.

 

“Gin-chan!” 

 

Her eyes started to water as she ran to me. She jumped to hug me with enough force to sweep me off my feet. I hugged her back immediately. I was so happy, so glad she was alright.

 

“So you didn’t die then, too bad.” Sougo said, leaning on his hand. His expression showed through his lie, he was just as happy as Kagura was.

 

“Missed you too.” Hijikata said with annoyed smile. I was patting Kagura now, there was one thing I noticed.

“Where is Sadaharu?” I asked. Kagura didn’t turn to look at me and my heart sank.

 

“He was killed during the bombing, when you fell the military dropped a few more bombs. It got hurt while trying to save her.” Sougo explained, pointing at Kagura. 

Kagura’s grip of me tightened, I could tell how sad she was. I hugged her again.

 

“I’m sorry Kagura, I know how much he meant to you, to us… But I’m glad you’re alive and well.” I whispered to her. She quickly nodded but didn’t speak about Sadaharu afterwards.

  
  
  


“We need to celebrate” Yamazaki shouted, coming to the room. Hijikata lifted his hand and shook his head.

“I’m gonna pass, is my room still… My room?” Hijikata asked, Yamazaki quickly nodded.

“Yours, Captain’s and Commander’s rooms were left untouched.” He proudly informed. 

I noticed a small sting in Hijikata’s eyes.

 

“I see, thank you. I’m going to go rest in my room for the night.” He said, moving past Yamazaki. 

  
  


I wondered should I have gone after him, ask him what was hurting him so much. But that night I didn’t ask, I didn’t go. And I didn’t see him the whole night, instead I partied with the rest of the survivors. Feeling calm for the first time in a while. I do feel guilty about it, even now. But back then, I made my choice.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this chapter! I have huge cosplay project going on so I totally forgot, but I was late only a day! 


	5. Trouble in Paradise

  
  
  
  
  


How many days did we spend there. Must have been less than a week, I think. 

During that time Hijikata and I barely spoke, he didn't talk much to anyone, truth to be told. I had no idea what to speak to him of, so I simply used up my time helping the other survivors, getting to know them. Taking into account how horrible the situation was, it almost felt normal again. Well, as normal as it could. Survivors had collected a lot of food so there was no need to go outside much, water worked too.

 

We were doing so good and it was all fine, but I simply couldn’t take my mind off Hijikata, who mostly spend time in his room. He was in guarding duty at the times, but most of the time he avoided others. And it bothered me, as much as I hated to admit it. 

 

  
  


Kagura and Sougo were playing ping pong. She was getting frustrated because she was losing.

“Take this! Kagura’s special! Murder strike!!” She shouted, hitting the small red ball really hard. Sougo smirked.

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that…” He said with a sadistic grin. Kagura gasped as Sougo hit the strong ball and hit the table, bouncing over Kagura before she could react.

 

“You bastard!” Kagura cursed, Sougo smirked at her. 

Others looked at them little worried but I knew that it was their way of communicating. I looked around, everyone were spending time with each other. Having fun, connecting… But one man was missing. 

  
  


“You alright?” 

 

I turned to look up, Yamazaki was leaning against the doorframe. I sighed and waved my hand.

 

“I’m fine, just wondering.” I said, leaning against my hand. Yamazaki glanced at Kagura and Sougo before returning to me.

“Wondering of Vice-commander? Oh wait, right now he should be called Commander.” Yamazaki guessed, hitting the nail in the head. I groaned, standing up. 

 

“Where are you going?”

“Gonna deal with my ‘wondering’.” I said, before walking off. Soon however, I had to return. 

 

“Where’s his room?” 

 

Yamazaki looked way too amused by this.

  
  
  
  
  


“End of the hall, then to the left, first room.” I repeated quietly to myself, trying to find the right room. I stared at the slide door for the longest time, before sighing and knocking. There was silence at first, before I heard a familiar voice.

 

“Come in.” He said in his usual lower voice, and for some reason it felt like I hadn’t heard it for such a long time. 

 

I sighed and pushed the door open, he was sitting at the small worktable. I coughed when the smoke came out.

 

“I see you found a lighter.” I said, waving the air, hoping the smoke disappear from the room.

 

“Yorozuya, what do you want?” 

 

I stopped on my tracks. He didn’t call me Sakata this time, I looked down for a moment. I couldn’t tell why I felt little tensed up, maybe little disappointed.

 

“You haven’t been around.” I finally spoke. 

“So you got worried of me? Thanks but no thanks.” His attitude started to annoy me.

 

“What is up with you. You barely show up, you barely eat. You actually seemed more alive with me out there rather than in here, your home.” I said, marching in. He stood up, and I could see he hadn’t slept well.

 

“Don’t talk like you know anything! This isn’t my home, not since Kondo died! Not since I had to be the one to kill him!” He lashed out. I felt surprised by it, then it hit me. 

I turned to look at the table, on it was a picture. I recognized Kondo’s smiling face, next to him were Hijikata and Sougo. They all looked younger. 

 

I started to realize. Hijikata didn’t want to be a commander; not because he was afraid, but because he didn’t want to take “his” place.

  
  


“Hijikata, I get it.” I said. He looked at me confused.

 

“You miss him, I get it.”

 

“ _...you’re scared of being left alone. I am too, I have been ever since Kondo died _ .” Hijikata’s words rang inside my head, as I stepped closer. He didn’t dare to move.

 

“What do you think you get…” He murmured, body shaking. I suddenly pulled the still lit cigarette off his mouth, and put it on the ashtray. 

 

“Hey!?”

I straightened and pulled a lollipop from my pocket, he stared at me confused. I suddenly pulled the wrapper off the lollipop and pushed it to his mouth.

  
“Lighten up.” I said with a calm smile. He stared at me in disbelief, but I could swear he felt more relaxed now. I then patted his shoulder. 

 

“I need you calm, alright? We got each others back right?”

 

He pulled the lollipop out and sighed.

  
“This is too sweet.” He murmured. I started to laugh and then walked back to the door.

  
  


“Come spend time with us, you’ll feel more better and I’m sure he would too.” I said, pointing at the picture. 

“He wouldn’t want you to be sad or feel guilty of what happened.”

 

Hijikata stared at me for a while before looking down and sighing.

“Alright. I’ll be there soon.” 

I nodded and was about to walk off, when he stopped me.

 

“Yorozuya.” 

 

I turned to look back in the room curiously. 

  
  


“You do know we can’t stay here forever?”

  
  
  
  


Later that evening I was sitting next to Kagura, who was having a feisty conversation with Sougo. I was trying to figure out what Hijikata had meant, he hadn’t continued after saying what he did. I just couldn’t understand the purpose of those words. 

My eyes followed him when he spoke with Yamazaki, asking more details of something that I couldn’t really hear well enough. What had he meant? I felt a headache coming and it made me groan.

 

“What’s wrong?” Kagura asked, noticing my bothered expression.

 

“Do you ever feel like someone you’d think was a simple person, manages to confuse you with just one sentence?” I mumbled, she blinked a few times.

 

“Yeah, you.” 

I glared at her and she grinned back at me. I huffed a little and then turned to look at Hijikata again.

 

“Be careful, he can sense when you’re staring.” Sougo whispered next to my ear, I jumped and then turned to him.

  
“I was not staring.” I denied, he snorted and then looked away.

  
  


I turned again, this time our eyes met and Hijikata was the first one to turn away.

“Hey hey, shouldn’t I be the embarrassed one?” I mumbled to myself, and then it got me to thinking; how often did he turn to look at me? I mean, our eyes wouldn’t have met if he hadn’t looked this way. I blushed, and then I mentally slapped myself, what was I getting red for? 

 

I needed to talk with him again, this time with more time.

  
  
  
  


It didn’t take long after I wished for it. When I went to my room to change my clothes I heard Hijikata snort.

 

“You look weird wearing our uniform.” He said. I turned around and put the jacket on.

“Well no can do, my clothes are at wash, yours are the only size similar to mine.” I said grinning. His expression changed right away.

 

“Those are mine!?” 

I laughed a little more before sitting down on the floor.

 

“So what’s up? Did you come to have a heart to heart with me~?” 

 

He stared at me blankly.

“On the second thought, I could just leave.” He said, turning around.

“Wait, wait! Sorry for teasing you, you can sit down!” I stopped him, and he just snickered at me.

  
  


“So what was it you wanted to talk about?” I asked again, now that he was finally sitting down next to me. Hijikata looked down for a bit before sighing.

“It’s about what I said before…” He started, fingers tapping his knee nervously. 

“...Yeah, about that. I didn’t quite get it.” I confessed, leaning back against the wall. 

“What do you mean we can’t stay here?”

“I mean it as I said it.” He said, turning to me. 

“We need to leave here.”

 

“Is this again about Kondo? Because I already said that the poor man wouldn’t want you to guilt-trip yourself-”

“It’s not about Kondo.” He interrupted me, expression looking a little frustrated. 

“It’s about this place, it’s not safe.”

 

I straightened now, and my expression turned serious.

“What do you mean it’s not safe? Of course it is. I don’t understand, what reason could you possibly have to want to leave here.” I asked. He looked away, clearly uncomfortable.

“We need to leave, to the border. If we stay here, it’s only the matter of time before we get invaded, before they can kill us.” Hijikata explained. 

 

Normally, I would have understood. I’d like to think that, but at the time I was too blinded by the sense of safety, so I answered the way I saw best.

 

“No.” 

 

Hijikata turned to look at me, shocked. Unable to understand why I would refuse.

“What, are you not listening? It’s not safe here, it’s broken and it’s only matter of time-!” 

I lifted my hand to silence him.

 

“I do understand what you’re trying to say but you haven’t been around much, but sitting alone in your room filled with guilt.” I said and crossed my arms.

“We’re safe here, I see Kagura laughing again and the survivors are content with what we have. It’s not much but it’s enough, if we just stick together…”

 

“Then you don’t understand! This place won't last forever, the zombies out there will multiply with every survivor there is left until we’re the only living ones! And they are multiplying fast!” Hijikata said, pointing outside.

 

“Why must you try to ruin everything!?” I shouted, he looked taken back by my outburst. I was breathing heavily due to anger filling me with adrenaline. 

 

“Why must you… When we can finally spend time with the others, without worrying about dying, when we can finally eat and drink without worrying about when will we find next food source alone, when we can finally sleep in peace!”

 

Hijikata stared at me blankly before getting up. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

 

“You mean when  _ you _ can sleep in peace.” He murmured. I returned my eyes to him but he started walking away.

 

“Hijikata, I-” 

 

He stopped by the door. He then quickly turned to look at me before leaving, and this time I was taken back; he looked hurt.

  
  
  
  
  


The next day we avoided each other. Even if we did, whenever he walked by, my eyes caught him. Whenever he spoke with someone, I couldn’t help but to see how tired he looked. I groaned slightly to myself, if only I hadn’t snapped at him. Maybe I should have tried to talk things out. 

 

“It’s your turn.” Sougo said, pointing at the chessboard. I turned to look at it with displeased expression.

“You moved them when I wasn’t looking.” I accused. He smirked and then leaned against his hands.

“Did I? Or did I not, if I did it was only your fault for looking away every time I make a move.” Sougo said with a grin.

 

I sighed and moved my piece, when I noticed Hijikata speaking with Yamazaki. They looked a little worried, but Hijikata said something to reassure the younger officer.

Hijikata then moved off and my eyes lingered, I moved up from my chair and Sougo’s eyes followed me. 

 

I stopped Yamazaki as he was walking on one of the hallways.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, he looked back at me surprised.

“Wrong? Nothing is wrong?” Yamazaki said, obviously half lying.

“I mean what did you talk to Hijikata about? It looked serious?” I asked again. Yamazaki looked like he wanted to ask about why I was keeping my eyes on them, but decided to ignore it.

 

“Something happened to the water.” He said, my eyes widened in surprise. 

“I mean, we filled as many containers as we could, but in about week or so, we’re gonna run out. Commander said he could take some of the survivors and go check it out.”

 

“Is it close?” I asked. Yamazaki looked at me, obviously nervous. I grabbed him by his collar. 

“Is it close Yamazaki!?”

He flinched, then looked away, much to my shock.

 

“It’s not really close, but Commander knows it’s location.” Yamazaki finally confessed. I felt my heart drop.

 

“And you let him go?” I asked. He stared back at me with a nervous smile.

“Well it’s Commander, he’s really strong and capable!” Yamazaki argued. I let go of him, feeling shocked by his words.

 

“Hijikata is just a human, just like us.” I breathed out in disbelief.

  
  
  
  


I ran to his room but it was empty. I cursed myself, cursed him. He was the one who said it was unsafe.

 

“Uhm, Sakata, I don’t think you have to worry. He should be back by the evening.” 

Yamazaki, who had followed me said. But for some reason, I wasn’t comforted by it. 

Why hadn’t I tried to make up our fight earlier, I felt like an idiot. But most of all, I couldn’t understand why I was so goddamn desperate for him.

  
  
  


And he didn’t return that night, or the next morning. Other survivors spoke as if he and the others had already died.

 

“Everyone calm down, we will just need to find another water source!” Yamazaki shouted to get the others attention. 

 

“How about the water that’s surrounding us?”

“It might be infected you moron!”

“Will we die now?”

“What about the people who left to look for the water pump?”

 

I was leaning against my hands, trying to collect my thoughts. Why was he so important to me in the first place? I mean of course I didn’t want anyone to die, that’s not what I meant, but there was a sense of emptiness in me when he wasn’t around. Had he really gone off and died? Was he dead?

 

My expression grew even more grim. Kagura turned to look at me, I couldn’t see her expression but I could tell she was worried as she patted my shoulder.

 

“ _ You can sleep in peace my ass, you made sure I can’t. _ ” I thought to myself before making a silent decision in my mind. If he was alive, all we were doing was wasting time. 

I couldn’t waste anymore time, I decided to stand up. Everyone became silent and turned to look at me.

 

“I would like to go look for the team that went to see what was wrong with the water pump.”

 

Everyone stared at me confused, then one of the women stood up. She had pretty short brown hair with light blue eyes. She looked around the same age as Shinpachi had been.

“I’d like to go with him, my brother was on that group! I can’t believe he’s dead without even confirming it myself.” She said, looking obviously scared. Kagura stared at me in disbelief before standing up and grabbing my shoulder.

 

“Are you serious?” She asked, shock filling her expression. I then nodded, and took her hand to push it down.

“I need to find them, we can’t just abandon a whole group of people.” 

I wasn’t lying, although I didn’t tell the whole truth. She looked down before lifting her hand too.

“I would like to go as well!” 

 

I turned to look at her shocked, she then glanced at me. 

“I won’t be separated from you again Gin-chan! Besides, now that you returned my umbrella I can fight more efficiently again.”

 

“I guess I’m going too, he is my commander after all.” 

 

We all turned to look at Sougo, who looked like he couldn’t believe what he himself was saying.

 

“Okita…” 

I then smiled. Two other people volunteered as well, Yamazaki looked a little worried but then nodded, calling us to join him in the other room. 

  
  
  
  


“Okay then, there’s a high chance that they’ve run into the special ones.” Yamazaki said, I could see the discomfort on the three other survivors eyes.

“What are the special ones exactly?” Sougo asked, leaning against the table with the map on it.

Yamazaki sighed, and then pointed at a certain spot.

  
“Here is the water pump, and here is where we ran into the special ones before.” 

I looked at the map closely, the two spots weren’t that close but they weren’t far either. 

“Special ones are more faster, stronger types, and we have established that they can’t hear.”

 

“How do they hunt then?” Kagura asked, sitting down on one of the chairs.

 

One of the survivors sighed, it was the woman who had spoken earlier.    
“We don’t know.” She said. 

“My brother had a theory but he didn’t really speak to me about it much.”

 

“Hopefully we will find your brother then.” I said with a smile. 

“My name is Gintoki.”   
“June.” She said.    
“So you’re American?” I asked, she laughed and shook her head.

“I’m originally from Britain, my brother’s name is Ivor.” She explained, I then nodded.

 

“My name is Akio, this is Dai.” 

Taller one of the two men spoke. Dai seemed more quiet, more shy. I was little worried how things would work out with him.

  
  
  


“Will you guys be alright? We can’t afford to send more people after you if you guys get lost.” Yamazaki explained, looking down. I shook my head and patted his shoulder.

 

“We’ll be fine. We’ll come back with the others.” I said, June smiled at my words.   
“I can’t believe this…” Sougo mumbled before standing up. Kagura slapped his back.

“Already scared?” Kagura said with a grin.

“You’re more scary than the zombies out there.” He said, earning another smack.

I sighed, then took the map from Yamazaki. He had marked the location of the water pump with a red marker. I stared at the mark for a while before closing my eyes.    
  


 

_ You better be alright Hijikata. _ I opened my eyes, as I took a deep breath. This was gonna be hard, really hard. But I couldn’t afford losing him, I didn’t know why, and at the moment I didn’t care either. I would think it through after I’d found him, I would talk with him and figure things out. About me, and about him. About us. 

 

But now was not time to think that, now was the time to keep our fingers crossed that we’d find them alive and well.

  
  


“I’m coming Hijikata.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5~! 
> 
> Writing this chapter was interesting as it was mostly of them being in a safe place without threats. (Kinda)  
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well as the earlier ones!  
> Comments are very welcomed~
> 
>  
> 
> ~wingedsong~


	6. "I'm ready to leave"

  
  
  


“Gintoki over here.” 

 

I ran as silently as I could, to behind the cover next to June who had called out to me. Kagura and Sougo were also crouched behind us. We were staring at the pretty crumbled buildings, so far it had seemed silent, even too much so. You would have thought we’d encountered zombies by now. I turned to look at Dei and Akio who were hiding behind a wall with their weapons. Akio being the bigger man and more confidence had an axe, apparently he had used it all his life so he wouldn’t trade it for a gun. Dei however was more shaky so he used a gun, a shotgun no less. It would be perfect for crowd control but if we could, we would refrain from using guns.

 

After all, noise attracted them.

  
  
  
  


“Do you think the water pump is there?” I asked, turning to look at Sougo. He pulled out the map I had given him during our travel here.    
“It should be…”   
“Should?” 

I looked at him confused. 

“You’ve never been there?”

Sougo sighed at me and rolled his eyes.

  
“Do I look like I cared about going to places like these? We had a normal tapwater, I didn’t need to go check it out specifically. It was Yamazaki’s and other smaller ranked soldier’s job.” Sougo said and Kagura snorted.

“Fancy words but in the end you were just lazy.” Kagura huffed, Sougo glared at her.

 

“How did Hijikata know where it was?” I asked. He was a Vice-commander and on a higher rank than Sougo. Sougo shrugged with sigh.   
“I have no idea, he must have gone to do other people's jobs with how much of a workaholic he was.” Sougo said, waving his hand. I groaned and turned to look at the broken town. It was bad, really bad. Barely any building was standing properly, it was as if it had taken one of the bombs directly.

  
  


I turned to look at June who nodded; we should move. June had a gun, that apparently originally belonged to her older brother who used to be a sniper shooter in the army. It was a big sniper rifle, I couldn’t tell what mark since I didn’t know much about guns. She had convinced me that it was strong and it also had a silencer on it, making it impossible to hear where she would shoot. She said she wasn’t as good as her brother, but she knew how to use it and that would have to do.

  
  


We moved, and at some point Sougo stopped and waved at the direction of one of the crumbled buildings. At least the door was intact, something positive.

 

I slowly opened the door, it revealed a staircase, leading to underground.

  
“I’m not so sure if I want to go there.” Dei murmured. I was surprised to even hear him speak. Akio then patted his back with a wide smirk. 

“Would you rather stay here?” Akio asked, Dei looked spooked and then quickly shook his head. I closed my eyes with a deep sigh. I didn’t want to go either, none of us did. 

An image of Hijikata’s back came to my mind.   
  


  
But we didn’t have much choice if we wanted to save them.

  
  
  
  


We walked down the metal stairs silently that went on in a circling position. It was difficult to stay completely silent, as the metal let out a small sound whenever we leaned weight on it. To be honest, I was a little afraid of them giving out entirely but I swallowed my fear and moved forward with others behind me.

 

“Where is the water pump?” Kagura quietly whispered.   
“At the bottom of these stairs, there should be a floor with many different hallways, and in one of them should be the water pump and the boiler.” Sougo explained. I sighed, the tension in the air was suffocating.

  
  


Finally we reached the end of the stairs, everything was grey and funnily enough, everything looked untouched. Small lightbulbs graced us with their tiny lighting, it was more comforting to walk in the hallways with almost no hiding places when there were lights. We kept moving forward, checking the small rooms and changing directions. This place was like a maze, an underground maintenance floor.

 

It was too silent, had Hijikata and the others left already and gone elsewhere. The thought crossed my mind, that maybe I was there for nothing, maybe he had just gotten lost with the group and was on his way home while we were here. But it wouldn’t make sense, thinking it logically there was no way he’d get lost, since this was his hometown and as broken as it was, it still wouldn’t change the routes that dramatically. 

 

I looked around, searching for the signs of life. The map was useless in there, it only showed the place where the building had been, we had no blueprints and Sougo had never visited there.

  
  


“It’s too quiet.” June mumbled. I nodded silently. 

 

It was, way too much so. 

  
  


Suddenly something went past me, I pulled my wooden sword and turned. Others reacted too and looked around frantically. 

  
“What was it?” Akio asked. I sweated slightly and didn’t dare to move. I heard something move behind us, I turned around to see someone with shinsengumi clothing run behind the corner. My heart skipped a beat as I glanced at Sougo who had a nervous look on his face.

  
  


Shinsengumi uniform, and yet they avoided us. Either they were afraid that we were sick, or then…

 

All of a sudden, something jumped from the shadows. I managed to hit it with my wooden sword, and heard a loud crack as it fell to the ground. It took a moment for me to register that what had attacked me had been a zombie, thankfully I had hit hard enough to break the skull, making it unable to move anymore. I then noticed the black and gold coloring in the clothing and I  _ swear  _ I felt my blood freeze.

 

  
“It’s not Hijikata!” 

  
  


I snapped out of it when Sougo shouted to me. As if he had known what I was thinking.

 

It wasn’t Hijikata, but it was one of the survivors. I knew him, as I had talked with him just earlier that week. 

  
“It’s Daryan.” Akio mumbled, voice sounding hollow. I could tell now, this man had been the reason why Akio had joined this group.   
“Akio, I’m sorry.” 

My voice shivered, he looked down and swallowed. Holding back his emotions.

  
  


My body was still filled with adrenaline. I always used a wooden sword as I had made an oath not to kill, but now I had killed someone.

 

I shook my head, no. They had been already dead, I needed to stop thinking about it. If I weren’t able to use all I had against them, I would be the one to die. No matter how innocent they had been when alive, all that was left now was just an empty shell.

  
  


Before I could make any decision, I heard a loud screech. Every one of us turned to look behind us, to the direction we had just come from. I could make out shadows from the corner of the hall, and then I knew how screwed we were.

 

“Run!” I shouted. Everyone started running but in my shock, we all ran in different directions.

Dei was running behind me, I couldn’t see where the others had ran, but we didn’t stop until we couldn’t hear the blood freezing howls the zombies let out anymore.

  
I stopped and supported myself by leaning against my knees. Dei was gasping for air as well.

  
“Where are the others?” I asked him, panting in between my words. He shook his head nervously. 

  
  


We had been separated from the others. And Dei wasn’t exactly the most reliable, as bad as it sounded. I inhaled anxiously, this was gonna be very bad. I needed to sound as convincing as I could.

  
“I’m sure they’ll be alright, you and I will need to look after ourselves. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” I said with a small forced smile. Dei looked at me worried but nodded. 

 

At least we were alive, that was a good thing. But in my mind, a thought came and refused to leave. Daryan had been in the group Hijikata had been, so if he was dead, it left a little chance that Hijikata was alive. 

I shook my head furiously, there was still a chance! A chance that Hijikata was alive and I could still find him.

  
  
  


We heard the shrills in the distance, so we moved slowly and carefully. I was holding my wooden sword tightly in my grip, breathing slowly. My every instinct screamed for me to run but I forced myself to keep calm. I had to, Dei definitely wasn’t going to be, so one of us needed to stay calm or else we’d both be dead sooner or later.

 

Thinking that, it reminded me of how Hijikata must have felt when I was freaking out and was unable to fight the zombies, out of fear of hurting innocent people.

 

He must have felt so afraid as well, and being in his position now made me decide that if I found him I wouldn’t let him feel this tensed feeling. I would definitely have his back, I would definitely be the one to let him feel safe. I was filled with all these emotions while thinking of him and yet, I couldn’t really answer the biggest question of all. 

 

Why?

 

Why did I miss him so much, why did I need him so much. Before I had thought it was because I was afraid of being alone, but now even that sounded like an excuse as I had had others with me when he disappeared. But I needed him, not just someone alive, I needed him especially.

  
  


“Gintoki.” 

 

I stopped when Dei whispered behind me. We heard a loud echo of metal hitting the wall repeatedly, a low growl reached our ears.

 

I looked around frantically, there was nowhere to hide! Suddenly something peeked from the corner, I realized immediately it wasn’t an average zombie. It looked different.

 

“A special type.” 

 

Dei whispered, voice screaming in it’s silent tone. I couldn’t even call it a she or he, it wasn’t a human. I felt like it had never been a human. 

 

My mouth dried up and my body froze in fear.

It was tall and skinny, like it had no muscle. Only dried up skin and bones. It had eyes, white eyes that were deep inside the black eye sockets. It’s teeth were sharper than a normal person should have. It had no clothes and very little hair. In it’s bony fingers, it was holding a metal pipe that it used to hit around. I was surprised the zombies could hold anything in the first place. 

 

Then it turned to look straight at us, and I was sure that that was it, it would come and kill us. But it never reacted, it just looked around frantically, and kept slamming the pipe against the walls.

  
  


What was going on? 

They couldn’t hear, so the only other logical way for them to sense us would be that they could see us. But it moved his head left and right, and yet didn’t charge at us. 

  
“Don’t move…” 

 

I whispered to Dei, who was clinging onto my shoulder with his hand like his life depended on it. Dei was breathing loudly and unevenly, he was close to snapping.

 

The creature started slowly stomping towards us, still swinging it’s head in different directions, metal pipe hitting the walls. I refused to move, it didn’t seem to react to us and I didn’t dare to change that fact. 

 

“It’s going to kill us.” Dei gasped, hand gripping tightly on the shotgun.

“It doesn’t even seem to notice us. Just stay put and don’t move.” I repeated. 

The creature stepped even closer.

 

Dei started gasping and I just wished he would shut up, this was scary enough without him making a scene behind my ear.

 

Then it happened, Dei snapped. I didn’t have time to shout, when shotgun was aimed over my shoulder and Dei had pulled the trigger.

 

A loud bam deafened me, my ear started ringing and I fell to the ground, hand holding my ear.

  
  


I lifted my head, and saw the creature roll on the ground as if in pain, then it lifted it’s head and supported it’s body with hands and legs in a spider-like position. I stared at both shocked and unable to hear. 

It sped up, I noticed Dei trying to run but he didn’t get too far before it attacked him. One bite was enough to rip through Dei’s shoulder, and his blood dirtied the floor and the walls.

 

I forced my body up, every cell of me screaming. I had to run, there was no fighting that monster!

 

I started running, my ear still hurt from before and I couldn’t hear with my right ear. I could only hope it hadn’t deafened me for life, though I had no idea how long I would live anyway.

I could hear with my left ear, a loud screech as it devoured what was left of Dei, I couldn’t even hear his voice. He might have died with the first blow.

And then I heard it move, it was coming for me.   
  
“Shit!” I cursed out as I started running more. There was a chance I would attract other zombies, so technically I should have stayed quiet, but I couldn’t think about that at the moment. I just couldn’t stay put now that my frail bravery had been shot away with Dei’s shotgun. 

  
  


Suddenly something grabbed my arm, I fell to the ground almost hitting my head.   
I was about to grab my wooden sword but my hand was step on. A sword stopped at my throat.   
  


  
“Sakata?” 

  
  


A low voice snapped my attention away from the sword, and I swear I almost cried. Hijikata stared at me in confusion, his outlook was messy but he looked somewhat unhurt. 

 

Before I could speak, I heard the familiar and frightening shriek. Hijikata cursed and then moved his leg from my hand. He quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me along. 

In my disoriented running I hadn’t realized I had reached the boiler room, but now I noticed how hot it was, the boiler at least was working fine.

  
  


Hijikata dragged me behind the huge boiler and then turned to me.

  
“What are you doing here?” He asked quietly. I could barely make out what he was saying with my left ear as it was. I was opening and closing my mouth like a fish dragged from the water. I didn’t know where to start. I decided to go with the most simple.

 

“I came here, we came here to save you and your team.” I quietly said, he stared at me in disbelief.

 

“Are you an idiot? Why would you do that, there was a little chance I would have been alive.” Hijikata groaned, still keeping his voice down as there was a chance that there were normal zombies around.

 

I could hear it being close now, so I didn’t dare to answer. Hijikata quietly mouthed me to stay still, which I understood perfectly. The ringing in my ear had stopped and I could hear a little, which was a good sign. Maybe I didn’t lose my right ear after all.

 

Hijikata was about to check it out, but I grabbed his shoulder to stop him. I then leaned forward to scout the room.

  
  


At first I saw nothing, then it peeked it’s ugly head from the corner and I pulled back. 

  
“It’s here…” I whispered. Hijikata stared at me and I could tell he was little nervous. I swallowed, it was searching the room, letting out small grunts every now and then. 

 

Hijikata closed his eyes, I think he was trying to keep himself calm like I was. I didn’t know why, but I felt like reaching out to him. I had almost lost him just a while ago and now he was sitting in front of me. I lifted my hand and put it on his shoulder, he turned to me. Looking surprised and questioning. I couldn’t look him in the eye, feeling a bit embarrassed.

  
  


Suddenly we both saw it glance behind the boiler, it stared right at us! I felt my heart beat loudly in my chest, and I think I could I hear Hijikata’s heartbeat too. It then let out a dreadful shriek before pulling away.

I closed my eyes and I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath until it had left the room. I exhaled loudly and then let go of Hijikata’s shoulder. I glanced at the entrance, it wasn’t near anymore. As if it had ran to look for the next meal.

  
  


“Who else came with you?” Hijikata asked.

 

I turned to look at him and when most of the fear left me, I pulled him to a hug. He stared at me shocked, unable to figure out what to say to me.

 

After the awkward moment passed, I pulled away, and he stared at me dumbfounded. I then coughed and looked away.

 

“I came here with Kagura, Sougo…”   
“Sougo?” 

Hijikata looked surprised. It must have been unexpected for Sougo to have come to rescue him. I then nodded before continuing.

 

“...and June, Akio and then Dei.” I looked down when I remembered Dei. Hijikata tilted his head, as if wondering what came onto me. 

 

“Dei died. I wasn’t able to save him.”

 

“I see, I’m sorry to hear that.” Hijikata said after a pause. 

“I’m sure you did what you could.”   
I lifted my eyes to him, surprised. I then sighed and nodded, I had done what I could. The moment Dei had snapped there was nothing I could do, but it hadn’t had to be that way. Then I remembered and turned to look at him again.

 

“What happened to you guys? I saw one of your team members. He didn’t look too good.” I said. Now it was Hijikata’s turn to look grim.

 

“We got here without a problem, and I started working with the water pump with the guy named Ivor. The others were supposed to keep eye on the door while we worked.” Hijikata explained. 

 

It seemed that while the others were supposed to guard, they had started to argue loudly despite Hijikata reminding them to keep quiet. Then they were ambushed by the normal zombies, Hijikata tried to protect rest of the team but one of the special ones ran into them. 

 

They couldn’t fight against it, Hijikata had pushed the sword right through it’s chest and almost gotten bitten in the progress. I felt a bit angry at him for doing something so reckless, but I guess I would have done the same in his position.

  
“And the others?” I asked. Hijikata sighed again.   
“Ivor managed to escape I think, others weren’t so lucky. I managed to fight my way through and escape.” He said. 

“But I couldn’t run away until I’d found Ivor. I hadn’t seen him die so he might have been alive, I’ve been here. Looking for him.”   
  
I groaned, this man was really. Considering how often he had called me a fool who did more than needed, exactly the same as me. 

I then stood up and helped him up as well. All of a sudden a loud sound of a bullet erupted in the air. We stared at each other before starting to run towards the sound. I grabbed my wooden sword off the ground on the way.

  
  


“Stay back!” 

 

I recognized Kagura’s voice, that made me run faster. Hijikata was running next to me, just as fast. We turned from the corner and noticed Kagura, Sougo and a man I didn’t recognize.

 

“Kagura!” 

She turned to look at me when I shouted. A zombie tried to jump at her, but I pulled Kagura to my chest and crushed the zombie’s forehead with my wooden sword.

  
“Gin-chan! You’re okay!” Kagura shouted happily. I sighed in relief and then noticed the pile of bodies on the floor. 

 

“I see you made it.” Sougo said, putting his sword back to it’s sheat. Hijikata sighed relieved, he then noticed the other guy and I could see his expression looked even more relieved. 

 

“Ivor, you were alive after all.” Hijikata said. Ivor nodded and they shook hands. 

 

I took a moment to inspect Ivor, he was a fairly build man with a brown little curly hair. I huffed, naturally curly haired main -character spot is already taken!

  
“Good to see you alive commander.” He said with a smirk. I felt a strange tightening feeling around my chest and I had no idea why, so I simply decided to ignore it.

 

“Have you guys seen June or Akio?” I asked. Kagura shook her head.

  
“June? Was June with you?” Ivor asked, turning to look at me shocked. I calmly nodded and then sighed.   
“She was, we got separated. Oh and… We lost Dei, he was attacked by one of the special ones.” I said. Kagura’s expression grew dark, I couldn’t blame her.

 

“We should get going, sitting here waiting to get eaten is not a good option.” I said and the others agreed with me.    
“I’ll need to find June. I can’t leave her behind.” Ivor said and I shook my head.

“No one is getting left behind, we’ll find her and Akio.” I promised. Hijikata smiled a little, was he proud? Well I did sound pretty cool.

  
  


We heard another shriek in the distance, so we decided to move and fast. Luckily now we had Hijikata with us, so he knew exactly what was where, we couldn’t get lost.

There was a loud shout nearby and we all knew where it came from.

  
“June!” Ivor shouted, speeding up.

“Wait Ivor!” Hijikata yelled, but Ivor wouldn’t listen so he just cursed under his breath.

  
  


“Do you think they’re alive?” Sougo asked, I didn’t dare to look at him.   
“I can’t say, I hope they are.” I answered. There was really no way of knowing for sure…

 

When we reached the room where June was fighting, we were shocked to find out she was holding her gun with shaking hands, pointed at our friend. There were no zombies in the room, just her and Akio. Akio was laying on the floor with a content smile but he had definitely been shot.

 

“He started changing…” June muttered. I turned my eyes away from the body. She looked too shocked to even be happy to see her brother alive. Instead she started sobbing, I realized she had never killed anyone before. 

Hijikata looked down, I knew it was because of him being able to relate in killing someone before they’ve turned completely. Ivor took the gun from her and hugged her, trying to calm her down.

  
  


“Guys!” Sougo shouted out, getting our attention. “I can hear them, a lot of them.”   
“We have to go.” Hijikata realized. I could hear them now too. Those long ear ripping screeches. Ivor grabbed June’s hand and we ran yet again.

 

  
A zombie jumped in front of us but Sougo was able to cut off his head while Kagura kicked the zombie to the side.

 

Me and Hijikata were keeping the rear, Kagura and Sougo were in the front while Ivor was trying to keep up with them. June was still in shock but even she realized she needed to run.   
“Turn left!” Hijikata shouted. I had decided not to look back but I did and then regretted it right away. Behind us was a group of zombies, as if we had awoken them all in one sweep. 

 

But that wasn’t the worst!

 

“Keep running! The biggest one noticed us too!” I screamed. Hijikata turned to me shocked and glanced back, he turned white as a sheet.

 

“Do not look back! Next go right, there’s the stairs!” Hijikata shouted, speeding up even more. I don’t know if I have ever ran as fast as I did that moment. I remembered how Dei was devoured, how his shoulder was ripped off from his body with one simple bite and that filled my body with such amounts of adrenaline that I was pushing myself to the limit.

  
  


At last we reached the stairs, I was gasping for air. I felt like I was going to die but I couldn’t stop running. Hijikata grabbed my hand as if he was afraid I was going to fall behind, even clearly he was just as tired as I was. Suddenly my leg was grabbed and I got pulled down. My face hit the hard metal stair and for a moment I was sure that was it. I was going to get bitten.

  
  


“Gintoki!” 

  
  


I heard a loud shriek when the hand that had been holding onto my angle was cut off. Hijikata took a support from the handrail and kicked the zombies head, pushing it against the others behind it. I was pulled up by him and I didn’t even have time to thank him nor catch my breath. We ran all the way to the top without looking back, I could hear the infected ones chasing us. At the top I turned around to slam the door shut.   
  
I felt the huge push when the zombies tried to get through the door. Sougo and Hijikata ran to help me, together we pushed as hard as we could with Kagura hitting the zombies to force them back inside. At last we got the door shut and Hijikata locked it up. 

Then we heard the loud thump when something big hit against the metal door. The door shook a little but didn’t give in.

  
“Do you think that will hold them back?” I asked, out of breath. Hijikata and Sougo were breathing heavily as well. I think all of us were.   
“For now, let’s not stay and find out how long it stays that way.” Hijikata answered, leaning against his knees.

“I agree, let’s leave while we still can.” Ivor said, holding his sister in a tight hug. I stared at her and I could only think that not all were meant to hold a weapon.

  
  
  


Our way back was slow but we made it without running into anything. It was as though the zombies were less active during the night. When we did get back, it felt saddening that I had to tell them we’d lost two people and I could imagine how Hijikata felt, explaining the loss of three others. But we made it, and that was the main part. I never wanted to see the special ones ever again. The image is still burned in my mind like a fresh picture. 

  
  


“Ouch!”

I winced in pain, as Hijikata cleaned the scratches left on my cheek from hitting it to the stairs. He sighed and took bandaids from the healthkit, he then little forcefully pushed it against my sensitive skin. 

 

“Oi! I said it hurts didn’t I?”

Hijikata stared at me blankly before snorting.

  
“Should have thought of that before coming to look for the group of people without any sort of plan.” Hijikata said with a small grin, searching for more antiseptic from the healthkit since there were scratches on my arms too.

 

“I came for you.”   
  
Hijikata’s amused expression turned into confused stare.   
“Huh?” He stared at me wide-eyed. I lifted my head, my cheeks felt heated up.

 

“I mean, others were important as well but to me...” I swallowed, I felt my body tense up. My hands felt sweaty and I grabbed my knees tightly. He didn’t say anything and I turned to look down. 

 

“...To me you were the only thing that mattered at that moment. I couldn’t think of anything else, I just needed you. I needed you alive here with me.”

 

“Sakata.” 

 

I didn’t dare to look at him. I stared at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I heard Hijikata inhale, as if he was wondering what to say to that. I then decided he didn’t need to say anything.

  
“I’m ready.” I said, I could hear him shift in surprisement.   
  


I lifted my wine red eyes from the floor to meet with his cold blue ones, and sighed before continuing.

  
  
  


“I’m ready to leave this place.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6!!! Writing this took the longest for me. But I'm pleased with it and I hope you are as well. 
> 
> Until next time~❤
> 
>  
> 
> ~wingedsong~


	7. Light at the end of the tunnel

  
  


 

Right after the whole incident, I requested to speak with all of the survivors. Hijikata was with me, it was an understatement to say that they didn’t appreciate our idea to leave the Shinsengumi headquarters. I must admit it sounded crazy, why leave the safe place they had just acquired? But I knew better. I knew what the special type looked like. I knew what it could do, how it could take a shotgun straight to it’s face and still get up and kill you. I knew all of it now, and that was why I wasn’t backing down.

 

“You’re crazy! All of you!” One of the survivors shouted, I closed my eyes.   
“This place is the crazy one.” I said, hand tight in a fist. 

“Our city has been destroyed, can’t you see that?”

The man clicked his tongue and turned to look away, everyone looked really unsettled, scared and I couldn’t blame them.

 

“We fixed the water pump but how many did we lose to do it?” Hijikata said. 

“Sooner or later we will run out of food, water… Then we’ll be forced to leave outside.”

 

“We lost them because you couldn’t keep them safe! So much for a Commander!” 

 

I didn’t see Hijikata react to that but I knew that he must have felt hurt hearing that.

  
“Hey! We should all calm down and try to listen to them-” Yamazaki started, but Hijikata interrupted him.

  
“You’re right.” 

 

Everyone turned to look at him confused, me included. Hijikata looked down and I could tell there was shame showing from his expression. 

 

“I couldn’t keep them safe. I’m not a Commander.”

 

“Hey Hijikata-” 

 

“But you’re not a member of Shinsengumi either, aside from me, Sougo and Yamazaki here; none of you are. You wear our uniform and play the part, but in reality you’re all just normal citizens that we failed to protect and now… There is no Shinsengumi anymore.” Hijikata said, lifting his head proudly, before I could try to calm him down. 

Yamazaki looked at Hijikata shocked, but Hijikata didn’t waver. 

 

“So what does that make me? Shinsengumi Commander Kondo Isao died when our city fell, so did the rest of the Shinsengumi. It makes me nothing special, if there is no Shinsengumi then there is no Vice-commander. I’m not a Commander, I’m not a Vice-commander either, I’m just Hijikata Toshiro. A man trying to survive just like you are, which is why I am not asking you all to leave this place as a man trying to lead you. I’m asking you because I want to survive and I want all of you to survive.”

 

I stared at Hijikata wide-eyed. His eyes looked clear, convicted. I turned away with a low chuckle.

 

“He’s speaking the truth.” I said, now being the one receiving the attention of the others. 

“I’ve seen what’s out there. These “Special ones” you all know but haven’t really seen close. I saw one, none of these guns will stop something as horrible as that. Once all of the food disappears from there, we’re next. They will come here and then we will really die.”

 

Everyone looked at each other, Sougo was leaning against the wall with a puzzled look on his face.

  
“What do you think, Okita?” one of them asked. Sougo glanced at me and Hijikata before sighing.

“I gotta admit, they sound pretty convincing and besides...” Sougo glanced at Kagura who returned the look with confused expression. 

“...I got too much to lose to die here.”

 

As a protective father figure, yes I have to admit that I had a sense of fatherly instinct call me when I saw Kagura blush and look away. I mean, I had no I idea what had gone between the two when Hijikata and I were gone. But Sougo was agreeing with me so I decided to brush it off. 

Some of the survivors weren’t really convinced but after arguing a bit, Yamazaki decided to say his thoughts of the matter.

 

“I think they’re right.” Yamazaki finally said. 

Everyone looked at each other, all with worried and grim expressions. Yamazaki glanced at Hijikata before swallowing. 

“I think we need to start thinking ahead.”

 

Everyone were quiet for a moment, before one of us dared to speak.

 

“What do you suggest?” 

 

It was Ivor, he looked a lot better now after getting a proper shower. June was sitting next to him, silent like she’d been ever since we got back. I noticed Hijikata look at me, I realized everyone expected me to give them an answer.

 

“I suggest that we’ll try to find a way to reach the outside world. There must be boats somewhere right? We might not be able to swim our way across the sea to the unaffected city but we should be able to row, if nothing else. Collect as little as we can, only food and water and then… We leave this city behind.” 

I swear I made it sound more convincing than how I felt, because everyone seemed to reluctantly agree with me.

  
  


Truth to be told, I wasn’t feeling convinced. At all.

 

Because honestly, all I could think was how we were all going to die.

  
  
  


I remember sitting in my room the evening everyone started getting ready to leave the headquarters. We decided that leaving with the first light was the best option, as the dead didn’t seem to be as active at night as they were during the middle of the day, but we would still have enough light to move around. I was changing my clothes from Shinsengumi’s uniform to my white kimono, in my room that was lighted only by a small candle in the table as we had no electricity. The rain was hitting the roof, making itself known with the loud sound it erupted. I lifted the cloth up from the table, and while it had been washed I couldn’t help but to notice how dirty it still was in a way. 

 

I could see all the people I had failed, coloring the kimono red. I had to close my eyes and open them again to see that the kimono was fine. What could I say, these people were counting on me and Hijikata to help them. But I wasn’t even sure if I could do that. How could they trust me with their lives when I couldn’t trust myself with my own life?

 

I put the kimono down on my knees before sighing. 

  
  


“Can’t sleep?” 

  
  


I flinched before turning around. Hijikata was leaning against the doorframe with a calm expression. I turned my attention back to the kimono and laughed.

 

“Sure I can, I was just changing back to my own clothes. Yours are boring anyway.” I said with a forced laugh, unable to face him. For some reason I expected him to talk back to me or ask me if I was looking for a fight. But he did neither of those things.

Instead, I heard his soft footsteps come closer. All the way until he was standing right behind me, I could hear him get down on his knees and sit behind me.

 

“Turn around so I can see your face.” He said, I unwillingly turned around and tried to force a smile. He didn’t look too impressed so I stopped. 

 

“What’s going through your head right now?”

 

I stared at him for a while before even realizing what he had asked me. I opened my mouth to speak but I wasn’t too sure what to say.

 

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

 

I looked down before thinking of the answer.

“I don’t know how to talk about it.” I finally replied, looking down.

 

“Try.” Hijikata’s voice was so soft it was strange. I laughed bitterly, before I would have made fun of him, of it; but we both had changed since we first met.

 

“I’m afraid.” My voice was small, barely hearable but he heard me anyway.

 

“Why?”

“Because I can’t be their savior.”

“Why?” 

 

I felt irritated that he repeated the question, I mean what was I supposed to say? That I was afraid because no matter what I tried, I would always lose in the end. Hijikata noticed my silence and then sighed.

 

“Sakata. How long have we known each other?” He asked, I turned to look at him again. I tried to think about it, when was the first time we met? On top of the rooftop when I was working? No, we met on the street. He came to talk to me, I can’t remember what of… But I could remember thinking that he was just another annoying officer, who thought he was better than everyone. Funny how things had changed, how we’ve changed.

 

“I can’t remember, maybe year, maybe two…” I said. Hijikata nodded, expression calm.

 

“We’ve come a long way since then haven’t we? From rivals to-”

“Partners.” I spoke, he stared at me surprised before chuckling.

 

“Yeah I guess, the point is… I’ve started to pick up on when you’re drowning yourself with your dark thoughts.” He said, putting his hands on his knees.

 

“Dark thoughts?”

 

“While it’s no surprise you’d be worried or scared after everything that’s happened, I can’t help but to think there’s something more to it.” He replied, blue eyes fixed on me. 

 

“Talk to me Sakata. About everything.”

 

I looked down, I didn’t know what to say or do. But at that moment, all I knew was that there was a sense of guilt eating me away and all I could do was to let it. So with frail conviction I spoke to him. 

How it started with Shinpachi dying in my arms, how when I tried to save the people from the bombing I was too unconvincing and let them die. I spoke of the woman, the woman who had begged someone to come to rescue her and I had been frozen with fear, unable to anything. Hijikata listened without interrupting, not once did he question me and not once did his expression change. Even as I told him of the way Dei died, how helpless I had been right after promising to protect him, Hijikata simply stared at me without saying a word.

 

When I stopped speaking, he exhaled. And honestly? I was scared to death how he would think of me. 

 

“I understand.” Hijikata said, closing his eyes. I looked back down, ashamed. “But I think you’re looking at this the wrong way.” 

I lifted my eyes from the floor immediately meeting with his. I could only stare at him confused of what he had meant.

 

“You used to be a war criminal right?” 

I flinched, out of all the things he could pick me on.

 

“I’d like to call myself a freedom fighter.” I said, looking away almost pouting. 

“Then you must have lost many allies back in the day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you.” He said, tilting his head to the side. 

“...I’ve lost people too. As someone who works in the law enforcement, there’s been many situations where I couldn’t save someone who desperately needed me to.”

 

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I decided to keep quiet instead. He didn’t ask me to respond either. He took a deep breath before continuing.

 

“All of the deaths I couldn’t prevent when I should have, I keep the names, the faces, the voices in my mind. I think about them every night I go to bed, just like you’re doing now.” He said. I closed my eyes before finally speaking.

 

“How do you wake up in the morning and are able to keep going?” I asked. He didn’t look too fazed of my question. Actually, he seemed to have expected it.

 

“I think about all the people I have saved.”

 

I opened my eyes, surprised of his words. He then lifted his hand to his chest.

“Remember when you asked me why I hadn’t arrested you after finding out the truth about your past?”

 

I silently nodded.

 

“It’s because of how much you’ve done to correct that. How much good you’ve done.” 

 

I opened my mouth to speak but no words escaped my throat. 

 

“How many lives have you saved while working as a Yorozuya? How many times have you saved my life during this time? When we fell, when you carried me all the way to the safety and treated my wound. When you saved me in that mall or how about when you came to save me, when anyone else would have been sure I was dead? You’re a human, it’s normal to be afraid. I’m afraid, we all are. But it’s important to know you’re not alone.”

 

I let out a dry chuckle, I didn’t know what to say to that. He was scolding me and at the same time all I could think of, was what I had thought before going to look for him.

 

“You know what kept me motivated when I came to search you?” I asked, he blinked a few times before shaking his head. 

“...It was because I needed to find you in order to ascertain my emotions.”

 

“I don’t think I understand.” Hijikata said with an honest expression.

 

“I wanted to tell you what you meant to me, how sorry I was for our fight and how much I needed you.” 

 

It was funny, I hadn’t expected our conversation to go into this direction.

 

“Sakata I-” 

I lifted my eyes and was surprised to see that the usual collected Hijikata Toshiro was actually completely red, holding his hand to his face like in order to hide. 

 

I stared at his embarrassed expression and I couldn’t help but to pay attention to the little details like the way his hand shook when he tried to collect himself, or the way his cheeks were flushed as he thought of what to think about my words.

 

I then swallowed and gently moved forward. He flinched as I touched his hand, it felt colder than mine but I was fine with that. We had always been like fire and ice, truly the opposites and at the same time, not very different. I wrapped my fingers around his hand and gently pushed it down to his knee. I lifted my other hand and reached for his cheek, at first I was afraid he would pull away, but instead he shyly glanced away. The candle light was shining light on his pale skin.

 

I exhaled shortly before running my fingers along his face, down to his lips. You’d think a man would have rougher lips than a woman but I swear at that moment I had never felt lips that soft. He didn’t try to move away when I softly opened his mouth with my thumb eyes fixed on his lips.

 

“Hijikata, can I kiss you?” My voice was shy, something I wasn’t used to. I usually had a lot of confidence with women when I spoke to them but with Hijikata here, sitting in front of me and opening up. It all felt different, more strong and at the same time, more soft.

 

“Don’t ask me such things.” Hijikata finally said, unable to look at me. I chuckled and then moved my both hands to his cup his face. Now his eyes were staring right back at me and I almost chickened out, I guess you could say that I felt embarrassed of my boldness as well.

But how would I not do it, with the way he was looking at me? His cold grey eyes, waiting?

 

I slowly moved closer, he carefully closed his eyes. The faint blush on his cheeks and the expression he had right now just added gasoline to the flames. I then closed the distance between us, gently pushing our lips together.

 

It felt soft, warm and it was like I was having my first kiss. I can’t really explain it the best way to give it enough justice. I felt Hijikata lift his hand to my arm as he kissed back. Neither of us said anything and we didn’t need to.

The sound of the rain disappeared in the distance, as if time itself had slowed down with our moment.

I moved my hands from his face down behind his waist and pulled him closer as I deepened the kiss. Hijikata’s hands wandered behind my neck as he tried to return my kiss with the similar passion.

 

Soon both of us needed to breath so I reluctantly broke the kiss. I felt my cheeks heat up at the sight of him, how beautiful he looked at that moment. The redness on his face, the clouded eyes and slightly parted lips.

 

He didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to tell him either. I knew Hijikata was the type of man not to be able to handle things said straight to him. I wanted to, I wanted to tell him either way.

 

“Hijikata I-” 

I was interrupted by Hijikata putting his hand on my chest, his expression looked troubled and then I realized what he meant, he wasn’t pushing me away but he wasn’t ready for my feelings yet either.

 

“I can’t right now.” Hijikata whispered, voice sounding smaller than usual. 

“Don’t misunderstand I just…”

 

I hushed him and gently smiled, it was disappointing but I knew what he meant.

 

“It’s alright, I understand.” I said, letting my hands rest on my lap. 

“I get it. It’s too soon.”

Hijikata nodded slightly and then quietly stood up, making my heart drop.

 

“After we make it out of here…” Hijikata said, closing his eyes. 

“...then I’m ready to hear you out.”

 

He turned around to walk away but I grabbed his hand. He turned to me, looking surprised and honestly I hadn’t expected myself to that either. I couldn’t look at him as I got up.

 

“Can you… At least stay the night with me?” I asked as gently as I could. 

He looked away, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was his way of escaping, so I softly hugged him from behind, I could feel him shiver ever so lightly when I breathed near his neck. But I didn’t want him to leave, not now. With quiet voice, I whispered to his ear. 

 

“Please.”

 

Hijikata swallowed, and without turning he replied.

 

“Alright.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this! Father's day has been keeping me quite busy TT3TT
> 
> Anyway! Big moment between the two, writing this was harder than I thought it would be, hope the emotion shows anyway.
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


	8. Towards hope!

  
  
  
  
  
  


I remember that morning very well, the old alarm clock on the table let out a soft ringing noise. I hit my hand on top of it to silence the annoying thing. Waking up felt difficult, but at the same time I felt like I had slept well for the first time in forever. Like truly well.

I slowly opened my eyes, blinked a few times before opening them completely.

Light was shining through the window, lighting the room. The candle had burned out during the night. I shifted slightly to my side on the futon, then I noticed the soundly asleep man in front of me. 

 

A man who held pride in being able to wake up easily was now sleeping through the alarm. I guess he hadn’t really been able to sleep well in days and I couldn’t blame him.

The light made his raven hair shine, showing various of colors on it. I gently moved my hand and touched his hair, I remembered how I used to hate the fact that his hair was so straight and so soft but at that moment I loved his hair.

 

He moved slightly to my touch, reminding me of a cat. I chuckled quietly while brushing his hair with my fingers. I tried to memorize every single detail of his face, how long his eyelashes were, how his lips curved, how his hair shined in different shades in the morning sun. I couldn’t help but to smile, then he mumbled something in his sleep. I leaned closer to kiss his forehead.

 

“Mm… Mayonnaise land..” 

I had to pull away and try my hardest not to laugh. Mayonnaise? That’s what he dreamt about? I smiled widely and shook my head.

 

“Christ Hijikata, never change.” I said and patted his head once more. That must have woken him up because he shifted slightly before slowly blinking.

 

“Sakata?”

  
“I’m here.” I said, and he dazedly looked at me. Then he looked all around before groaning.

“What time is it?” He asked, I looked at the clock to see the time before responding.

“It’s around 6 am.” I responded, to which he sighed before rubbing his hair. I would have wanted to stay a little longer, together under this blanket but I knew we couldn’t afford such a luxury. I decided I would appreciate every morning with him after we’d get out.

 

Hijikata turned from me to look for his clothes and sighed as he got standing to dress up. I stared at him a little while more, before getting up as well.

We both dressed up hastily, we didn’t really have time to waste and I was sure that the others were already waiting. I heard knocking and turned to look at Hijikata, who was tying his scarf around his neck. 

 

“Come on in.” I said, Sougo pulled the door to the side almost immediately. How impatient could he be. Kagura peeked from behind him, both had their own bags with them.

 

“So here's where you were?” Sougo asked, turning to look at Hijikata who just huffed at him. I noticed Kagura’s curious look so I turned to look away, little embarrassed.

 

“We’ll need to get going.” Hijikata said, ignoring Sougo’s amused look which I couldn’t. 

 

“Were the others ready?”

 

“We didn’t run into anyone yet, we went to your room and them came here.” Kagura said, resting her hand on her hip with umbrella leaning against her shoulder.

 

“That’s strange, have others not awoken yet?” I said, Hijikata simply shrugged.   
“They’re most likely gathered in the meeting room.” Hijikata said, putting the sword to his belt.

  
  
  
  


But the place where everyone were supposed to meet was empty, no one was there. Hijikata looked at the clock and sighed.

 

“They really are all asleep.” Kagura mumbled, kicking the forgotten pen on the floor. I was tapping my foot, stress filling my mind really quickly.

“Should we go wake them up?” Sougo asked, I nodded but something felt off to me. How would everyone simply oversleep?

 

So we left the meeting room and headed towards Yamazaki’s room. I can say we honestly did not expect to find him the way we did. I was standing by the door, voice caught in my throat.

 

“What is it?” Hijikata asked, pushing me aside. His expression turned into shocked one when he saw what I did. 

 

“Yamazaki…” 

 

Sougo looked horrified, Kagura gasped. Yamazaki was leaning against the wall with handgun on his hand, he had shot himself in the head. My mind was turning into a blurry mess, but even still I managed to turn my head to his other hand. A bite mark…

 

“Hijikata…” I slowly turned to him. 

 

“He was bitten.”

 

It took him a moment before he made the same realization I did. Yamazaki hadn’t gone outside, not in a while since he found us. He hadn’t left so the bite mark must have come in the headquarters and that meant…

 

“We have to leave.” Sougo said, grabbing Kagura’s hand, when we heard something hit against the wall in the neighboring room. A sound of scratching caught my ears and I swallowed.

 

“Seconded.” I said, turning back and running. Not a moment too soon since when we left the room, I heard the wall collapse.

 

“How did they get here!? When did they get here!?” Kagura asked, being pulled by Sougo.

 

“They must have come during the night! There’s no way we would have missed them otherwise!” Hijikata shouted, running in front of me while keeping an eye that I wasn’t falling behind. I would have thought of that as endearing if I hadn’t been really afraid at the time.

 

“That makes no sense! They don’t move much during the night, they stay by their nests!” Sougo yelled without looking back.

 

Then it hit me, something must have changed, just a while ago.

 

“They followed us!” I gasped. 

Hijikata slowed down to be able to run next to me.

 

“What do you mean followed us? Why would they do that!?” Hijikata asked.

 

We reached the backdoor and Sougo pulled it open, to our shock it was crawling with the zombies. I felt my body freeze. One which I could recognize as June turned to us. She let out a low growl before dragging her legless body towards us. She must have hoped to stop the infection by cutting off her other leg. It hadn’t done the trick.

 

“Move!” Kagura pushed Sougo aside and shot June square in the forehead.

“Stupid China! What are you doing!? They’ll hear us!” Sougo shouted and Kagura glared at him.

“They already have!!” She screamed.

 

Hijikata pulled his sword from his sheath. 

 

“Where to from here? You know your backyard the best!” I asked, pulling my wooden sword as well. The other zombies turned to us, now their full attention granted.

 

“We need to get past these things, that way we can reach the backgate and hopefully slow them down by locking it.” Hijikata explained, sweat running down his cheek.

  
“That works with me!” I shouted and started running. I had to ask myself, what are the chances that we will survive? I didn’t want to think about it at that time, I decided to focus on protecting the others.

The first zombie leaped towards me, I bit down and swung as hard as I could. My sword connected with it’s head and it fell to the ground, head open. I heard another one come from behind but before I could turn, Hijikata had cut it down.

 

“I got your back, remember. We’re getting out of here.” Hijikata said with a nervous smile. I returned it with a grin. 

Kagura jumped in the air, shooting two and then kicking one to the side with her monstrous power. Sougo swung his sword, missing Kagura’s head by an inch. Zombie that had tried to attack her now fell to the ground motionless.

For a moment I actually felt optimistic, but then I heard a long shriek. A familiar feeling of pure terror filled me. 

 

“Let’s keep going!” I shouted, hitting the next zombie. It felt disgusting, killing the ones that just a while ago shared drinks with me. I could only try to find comfort in a thought that they had already died and the ones I was fighting weren’t them anymore. We had to hurry, but we couldn’t panic. Mistakes would follow panic and we couldn’t afford any.

 

For a moment, I lost Hijikata from my sights and I made a mistake of letting my guard down because of it. I got pushed down by one zombie but it got shot almost immediately by Kagura.

 

“Hiji-!” 

I got pulled up abruptly before I could finish my sentence.

“I’m here! Stop daydreaming!” Hijikata snarled before continuing forward. I sighed in relief and did the same.

  
  


“We’re almost at the gate! Keep moving, when we reach it we should be able to reach the underground tunnels! From what I gathered, the explosions didn’t destroy it completely. We should be able to lose them that way!” Hijikata shouted, cutting down a zombie while running. I heard the shrieks of the special type, and that made me run all the more faster.

 

“Shit! China!” 

 

I stopped at my tracks and turned around.

My blood ran cold when I saw something leap towards Kagura. I knew what it was, and what one bite could do. 

 

It was just as scary looking as I remembered, even in the morning light. Kagura turned to face it but she wouldn’t be able to do anything with her gun.

 

Suddenly, a zombie was kicked between her and it by Sougo.

It bit down to zombie’s head, and I could hear the crunch sound when the neck broke. Another zombie came at Kagura, but Sougo managed to pull her away from it. He pulled her against his chest and lifted his hand to shield himself. At that time, I was already there and I managed to hit the zombie aside.

 

“Let’s go!” I shouted and they stared at me, yet didn’t hesitate to move.

  
  
  


We made it to the gate with enough luck and pushed it open. Hijikata waited until all of us were out, before locking it behind us. A loud scream of the beast behind it rang in the air as the door made a sound that made it clear it wouldn’t hold forever.

We got to the subway line and closed the door after us, it wouldn’t hold long either.

 

But at the door I heard Kagura shout, I turned to see if a zombie had gotten through already, but then I realized she was sitting on the ground with a shocked look. I realized she must have been pushed forward by Sougo so hard she lost balance.

 

“What was that for you bastard!?” She shouted, standing up. Sougo was standing by the door, looking down.

 

“You need to go.” Sougo said with a hollow look. Kagura stared at him in disbelief before angrily grinning.

 

“The fuck are you saying now!? We need to leave, stop with this bullshit!” Kagura angrily yelled, pointing towards me and Hijikata. But Sougo wouldn’t move, it took me a moment to realize why. I searched but I didn’t see it, then I remembered the moment where he had saved Kagura.

 

“Sakata?” 

Hijikata looked surprised as I practically ran to Sougo, grabbing his arm and pulling his sleeve up. 

 

And there it was, as clear as day. A half of a bite mark but bite mark nonetheless. I let go surprised when I saw his veins pull back in a weird motion.

Kagura was staring at him, unable to progress what she was seeing.

 

“Sougo you… You got bitten.” Hijikata mumbled, hands in fists. His expression was just as shocked as mine, except there was also sadness in the mix.

 

“Surprise.” Sougo said and lifted his hand to inspect the wound. 

“I guess I’m the type that doesn’t turn immediately, that’s good at least.”

 

“No, this must be a mistake.” Kagura’s voice sounded so small, just like the day Shinpachi died. Sougo lowered his hand and smiled bitterly.

 

“I’d wish.” He whispered, then turning to look at us. I didn’t know what to say to him, what could I possibly say to him? 

 

“You guys need to go, now while you still can.”   
“Sougo…” Hijikata’s expression looked more pained now.

 

“No! No way! You’re coming with us!” Kagura surprised me with how desperate she sounded. 

“You still haven’t changed, how do you know if you even will!?”

 

“Kagura!” 

Kagura flinched when Sougo called her by her name. Her hands were shaking now, Sougo only smiled. I opened my mouth but then closed it and looked away. 

 

“I don’t have a chance anymore but you do. I can buy you time before I turn, but you need to go.”

 

I was about to speak again, but then I heard a loud bang on the door that we had locked behind us. We were running out of time.

 

“No, not like this.” Kagura said, stepping forward. I heard another bang and I had to look towards Hijikata for confirmation. He looked down before nodding, we needed to leave. 

  
“Kagura, we need to go.” I said, Kagura turned to me, obviously shocked by my words. 

 

“No. No I won’t! I refuse!”

 

Another loud bang.

 

“JUST GO!!” Sougo shouted, unable to look at us now. He was looking down, body shaking. I bit down and lifted Kagura on my shoulder, she let out a surprised scream and then I just ran.

 

“No! Sougo! Gin-chan we can’t leave him! Please!” 

 

Hijikata started running as well. I could hear him behind us. 

 

“Gin-chan! Don’t do this! Sougo you can still escape! Sougo!!”

 

I heard the door give in and I turned my head just slightly to see him.

 

He had a small smile while looking at us, looking at Kagura. He then pulled his sword and I turned away the moment I saw what came through the door. I ignored Kagura’s pleas and screams. I just ran and ran until we couldn’t hear the zombies anymore.

  
  
  


Hijikata slowly opened the door when we reached the surface, we were near one of the big cracks on the earth. He locked the door behind us just in case, even though we had lost the zombies hours ago. The sun was high up already, so it must have been past afternoon.

I glanced at the girl, who I was now carrying on my back since my shoulder had gotten sore.

 

Kagura wasn’t really responding much. She was awake but she was silent. I looked away, she had screamed and screamed until she lost her voice but she hadn’t cried a single tear.

 

“I think we can take a break here, the zombies are not after us and we need to eat.” Hijikata said after securing the area. I nodded and lowered Kagura to the ground, she then hugged her knees. She couldn’t even look at me and that hurt me the most.

 

“Kagura…” 

I sat down next to her while Hijikata sat in front of her. She didn’t respond as I pulled some food from the bag. I lifted the can of mushrooms in front of her. 

 

“You need to eat.”

 

She shook her head and refused to speak. I sighed and opened the can myself. I glanced at Hijikata but I couldn’t read his expression, it looked blank. I knew Sougo was like a family to him, first Kondo and now Sougo.

 

And how was I feeling? Sougo had been my friend and I had made the decision to leave him behind with Hijikata. If I said that I didn’t feel guilty, I would be lying.

 

“Kagura…”

“Shut up…”

“You really, really need to eat something at least.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!!” 

She slapped the can from my hands and it dropped on the ground, I tried to lift it back up quickly but half of the mushrooms had been wasted. 

 

I turned to her feeling angry of what she had done, but my anger dissolved the moment I saw her face. She was on her knees with an angry, yet despaired expression.

 

“Kagura-”

“You left him behind! He could have survived!” Kagura screamed and I tried to touch her shoulder to hush her but she slapped my hands away again. 

 

“Don’t touch me!”

“Okay I won’t, but you need to quiet down, we don’t know what might hear you.” I whispered with an ordering tone. She then lifted her hand to hit me, but Hijikata grabbed it just in time.

She pulled her hand away and fell on her knees, supporting herself with her hands.

 

“We couldn’t have saved him.” I said, my expression hollow.

“He hadn’t turned yet.” She whispered, her voice shivering. 

“He would have.” Hijikata said and now I could tell how much in pain he was as well, his face didn’t let out anything but his voice was honest.

 

“He would have turned, you saw what the bite mark looked like.” I said. She started to shake and I reached to pat her. She didn’t push my hand away this time. 

She knew what I said was the truth, she knew it but she couldn’t accept it.

 

“I didn’t get to tell him…” She said as I pat her head. 

 

“I didn’t get to tell him how I felt.”

 

I exhaled and closed my eyes, now realizing I had been right when I felt like something had changed between them when we were reunited.

 

“You know, when this all started…” Hijikata spoke, looking down. 

“...after Kondo turned, Sougo asked me if there was any chance we could make a detour before leaving to the border.”

 

Kagura turned to look at Hijikata with a shocked expression. Hijikata sighed before continuing.

 

“He wanted to come to help you.” He finally said, I turned to look at Kagura who was staring at Hijikata. 

“Even though Sougo would have never said it out loud. Whatever feelings he had towards you, were the reason why he needed you to run.”

 

Kagura gasped before slowly starting to sob. Soon her walls broke down and she started to cry, I pulled her to my lap and hushed her. I gently rubbed her back while patting her. Hijikata had closed his eyes, I think it was to keep himself from crying too.

 

“I loved him!” She cried while holding onto me. 

“I loved him so much Gin-chan!”

“Shhh, I know…” I quietly whispered and let her cry.

 

“I think he knew it too…”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry how I'm late once again!  
> I had to rewrite this a few times just in case and I am somewhat satisfied with it.
> 
> Anyway, next up the last chapter and after that epilogue. Hope to hear how this chapter felt for you guys!
> 
> ~wingedsong~


	9. Can't help falling in love

  
  
  


We had been walking for a while now. Kagura had finally calmed down and eaten something, so we could leave. Hijikata said that if we were lucky, the bombs hadn’t destroyed the old military base little further away from the city. He hadn’t said a word since we left, neither had Kagura and truthfully, the silence was suffocating me.

I exhaled from my nose in frustration, Hijikata noticed this and glanced towards my direction but instead of speaking he just turned around again.

Kagura was walking quietly next to me, and suddenly she grabbed my sleeve without stopping.

 

“Gin-chan, did I talk to you of when we first got separated?” Kagura asked quietly, as if she only felt like speaking with me but not Hijikata. Hijikata didn’t even seem to listen so that was fine.

 

“No, you didn’t. I always thought you didn’t feel like talking about it so I didn’t ask.” I explained and she shrugged before continuing.

 

“When you two fell, I almost jumped after you. Stupid Sougo stopped me, said that it would have been a miracle that you didn’t hit any of the rocks underneath the surface and if I jumped after, I would be playing with the same odds.” She said. 

I was glad Sougo had stopped her, who knows what would have happened if she had jumped. I didn’t manage to think of it much further as she continued. 

“We had all of our supplies so we didn’t have to go look for any, but just like earlier I was reluctant to eat. I didn’t want to eat, who cared if I died since you and Shin-chan were both dead.”

 

“Kagura…” 

 

Kagura smiled bitterly.

“He actually took the bun he had and shoved it to my mouth by force. I got angry at him and tried to attack but he grabbed my wrists and got angry with me instead. He said;

“ _ How can you think that it doesn’t matter if you survive or not, stupid China? I lost someone too! But I’m not gonna go ahead and die just so that they could be more sad in the afterlife and not look me in the eye! _ ” Can you believe that?” Kagura said, giving a dry chuckle. I laughed at her impersonation of Sougo’s voice. 

 

“In the end, I was a very difficult companion, I fought against him a lot but he never chose to leave me behind. When we ran into Yamazaki and others, he promised that he’d take care of me so I shouldn’t worry about being left alone… He was caring that way and I don’t know when, but at some point I realized I had fallen in love with him. I could never tell him of course. We had both lost people and it just didn’t feel right to confess yet.”

 

I glanced at Hijikata who was walking in front. I knew what she meant.

 

“But I regret it now.” 

 

I turned to her surprised. She had a small smile as she turned to me. 

“I regret my decision not to say it to him, to confirm it Gin-chan.”

“Kagura, I think he knew... “

“I know, but it’s not enough.” Kagura said and then turned to look at Hijikata. 

 

“Gin-chan, don’t make the same mistake…” 

  
  
  
  


“We’re here.”

 

I sighed deeply as I leaned against a tree. Why did the military base had to be so god damn far away. We were lucky; it seemed that there weren’t many of them in the woods, maybe because most resided in the pieces of the city and they didn’t really seem to care about water. 

I turned my eyes to the direction he was pointing. I was expecting a tower of some kind but it looked more like an old bunker surrounded by an iron fence.

 

Hijikata walked to the gate, it was locked with chains and a big lock.

“Great, now what?” He murmured. I turned to look at Kagura and smirked.

“If you could?” 

Kagura glanced at me and then the chains before smirking. She walked to the chains and grabbed them.

“Gintoki, she’s an alien but she’s just a small girl.” Hijikata said, looking at me in disbelief. I lifted my finger and waved it to his nose. He slapped it away, annoyed.

 

Kagura pulled with all her strength and soon the old chain broke down. Hijikata stared at her shocked and I just grinned.

“Imagine when she grows up!” I said and pushed the rusted gate open. Hijikata huffed and then thanked Kagura who was smirking as well.

We got to the door far side of the left in the bunker, it was stuck but with all of us pushing it came down pretty quickly.

 

“So why did we come here? You kinda skipped that part.” I asked, walking quietly behind him as we only had one flashlight that Hijikata had had in his back.

“Well, I’m sure not everyone agreed with the military when it came to bombing our city down.” Hijikata said, looking around. 

“Military bases such as this should come with a transmitter, a radio of sorts. I’m hoping we’d find it and use it to contact my people from outside.”

 

“I thought Shinsengumi was dead?” I asked and he sighed.

“It is, but I wasn’t talking about Shinsengumi. I do have friends in the military as well.” Hijikata said. I huffed and glanced at Kagura who was again holding onto my sleeve. 

 

We arrived at one of the doors that seemed heavier than the others, and Hijikata wiped away the dust hiding the sign on the door.

 

“Main control room… It should be here.” Hijikata said and carefully opened the door. We looked around, but there were no zombies around so we went in and closed the door after us.

 

Hijikata pulled a switch and suddenly the lights went on. There was still electricity in this place! 

“They must have a backup generator here somewhere.” Hijikata murmured and then walked to the control console. He sat on the chair and then started pushing different buttons.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” I asked, leaning over his shoulder to see better.

“You better hope I do, if we wish to get out of here. Kagura, could you check the video footage if there’s any zombies?” Hijikata asked. Kagura loosely saluted.

“Ay ay, though not all of the cameras work.” Kagura said, turning for the huge screen with different videofeed images.

 

Soon Hijikata managed to get out static from the console and I had to lean in to hear it.

“You got it to work!” I shouted and he sighed as he continued messing with the buttons. “Can you make it connect?”

“I’m trying…”

 

“...is...emergency...over.”

 

“Hey! Hey, turn it back!” I said, pointing at the console. Hijikata turned it back a little bit and I heard it again.

 

“This is...free...military, what’s your...emergency over.” 

 

We both sighed in relief and I actually laughed.

“This is Hijikata Toshiro, Vice-commander of Shinsengumi from Edo. We’re stranded on one of the city pieces that is still left. We need help, over.”

 

“How do you know they’ll listen? They’re from a military that bombed us?” I asked.

 

“No, this is different.” Hijikata said. 

“Free military is an underground military group that fight for the people, not for the higher ups. I was on a mission once to find them, but officially I never did.”

“Officially?” 

I didn’t manage to get an answer when a different man answered from the radio.

 

“Hijikata Toshiro from Edo, This is Free military captain Ishiyama Yasushi. Are any of you sick? Over.” 

Hijikata smiled as he took the mic again.

“We are all perfectly healthy, there’s three of us. Me, another man and his foster daughter. We’re hiding in amanto military base near the broken border. Over.”

 

First we heard nothing and there was a long silence, I started to sweat from anticipation. Would they come for us or not? 

 

“Hijikata Toshiro, we know the base you mean. It should take our group until next morning to reach there, will you be alright until then? Over.” 

 

Hijikata turned to look at Kagura who shook her head.

“There are no zombies in the cameras, no people either.” Kagura said and Hijikata nodded.

 

“We will be fine until then. Over.” Hijikata said with a smile.

“Roger that. We’re on our way. Over.” 

 

I started to laugh excitedly, we were going to get out of here! I actually pulled Hijikata up and hugged him excited. He looked embarrassed and unsure what to do so, he just hugged me back awkwardly. I then let go and hugged Kagura too, who was jumping with me. We were going to be rescued, thank god!

  
  
  
  


The night itself felt extremely long. I was restlessly tapping my feet while Kagura was sleeping on the chair. Hijikata had put his jacket on top of her when she did, so that she wouldn’t get cold. He had rolled up his sleeves and when I asked if he wanted my kimono, I got a pretty annoyed glare as a return.

After a while, Hijikata got up and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?” I quietly asked, getting up too.

 

“I can’t rest at all, so I thought about going for a walk inside the base.” He explained, I frowned.

“It might be dangerous Hijikata.” I said, grabbing his shoulder.

“There are no zombies around in the camera footage. It should be fine, plus I have my sword with me.” Hijikata said, sighing. I shook my head.

“At least let me come with you. I can lock the door behind us, it’s pretty sturdy so Kagura should be fine without us for a while.”

Hijikata stared at me for a while before exhaling and nodding.

  
  


While we were looking around, I started thinking of what Kagura said. 

 

“Hijikata, when are we going to discuss what happened last night?” I asked after gathering my courage. Hijikata didn’t respond at first, walking silently beside me.

“What is there to talk about?” He stated, I sighed.

“You know what. I just thought, now that Kagura isn’t here that we should… Talk things out.” I tried, he didn’t look too enthusiastic so I grabbed his shoulder to stop him from walking. 

“Hijikata, I mean it.”

Hijikata didn’t try to run, but he refused to look me in the eye.

 

“Look Sakata, I’m not-”

“Gintoki.” 

He finally looked at me, blue eyes filled with confusion. 

“My name, you never use it.”

“Sakata is your surname.”   
“I want you to call me Gintoki.” 

We stared at each other for a while, and soon he clicked his tongue.

 

“Fine, Gintoki. I’m not able to  _ talk _ things out with you, not yet.” He said, and I actually felt hurt by that.

“Toshiro.” 

He looked a little angry that I used his first name too, but didn’t comment on it. 

“How I feel about you-”

“Look I just can’t!” Hijikata shouted, voice echoing in the empty hallways. 

 

“...Not when I don’t even know if you or I for that matter can mean those words with our current situation.”

 

“Our current situation? Toshiro, you…” I didn’t manage to say anything more as Hijikata leaned against the wall, and actually fell through it. 

 

“Toshiro!?”

He disappeared, right in front of me, he…

 

“Shit, what the hell??” 

I heard his voice, but how? I then reached out my hand towards the wall, it went past it.

 

A hologram wall? But why?

 

I walked past the hologram to see Hijikata get up while cleaning his clothes from the dust that actually was fairly less than in the control room.

 

“Where are we?” I asked. 

It looked like a big lab room. It didn’t look as old as the rest of the place did. There were big tables around and glass tubes, at the end of the room there was a huge glass wall with a room that I couldn’t see because it was completely black in there.

Even in here, only one small night light was on, all the other lights had died.

 

“Good question…” Hijikata said, then walking to one of the tables with different papers. “Whoever was in here left in a hurry. All these memos and notes left just to lie here.”

 

I looked around as well, the glass tubes were empty for the most part. Some had water in them, some were broken.

 

“Gintoki…” 

I turned to Hijikata who showed a recorder on the table. 

“Do you think this still works?”

“We could try?” I said, walking to it and checking it out. It seemed fine to me, I noticed a recording button flashing green so I pressed it. A woman’s voice started playing.

  
  


“This is Hano Suzu. Recording 398, the project Goryō has been finished.”

  
  


“What does she mean?” Hijikata mumbled, I looked at the papers on the table while listening.

 

“It took many years but we are finally able to strip down Edo from it’s power over other cities and countries.” She said and I could hear a chuckle from the tape. I tried to look over everything that could shed light to the project Goryō that she was talking of.

 

“Here, Goryō are a vengeful Japanese ghosts. The belief was that "the spirits of powerful lords who had been wronged were capable of catastrophic vengeance.” But that doesn’t make any sense…” I mumbled. Hijikata looked at the papers with me.

 

“When Amanto came, you weren’t the only ones with your group who hated them.” Hijikata said. 

“This project could have been one of many to try and take down Edo, the biggest Amanto city there is.”

 

“You don’t think…?” My hands started to shake as I stopped mid sentence. My eyes were glued to one of the documents.

 

“Think what? Gintoki what is it. Hey!” Hijikata pulled the paper from me and his face turned pale. 

 

On the paper, was the one thing I would never forget. My whole body shook.

 

It was all planned. The infection, the city’s destruction.

 

“Gintoki… This…” I stepped a few steps back from the table, and suddenly my leg hit something and all the lights turned on. I didn’t have time to get surprised by it, as I heard a soft grunts and moans. I slowly turned to look at the back room that had been dark and hidden behind a glass. 

 

My blood ran cold as I saw multiple special types waking up from their slumber. Hijikata dropped the paper I had found, I saw the drawing of the same creature on it for a brief time before Hijikata grabbed me and started running. I heard something hit the glass hard.

When we got out, I heard the same sound again before there was a sound of glass shattering into million pieces.

 

“We need to get to the control room!” Hijikata shouted to me. 

“If we get there, we should be safe for the time being!”

I hastily nodded and ran as well, but didn’t let go of his hand. I heard the oh so familiar shrieks behind us, but didn’t dare to look back. 

We reached the control room and Hijikata started banging on the door. 

“Kagura! Let us in! Quickly!”

 

Now I looked back and saw them come right at us. One jumped in the air and opened it’s big mouth, ready to bite. I used my wooden sword but once it bit on it, the sword broke. I pulled Hijikata aside and now it was right between us and the door, plus it’s friends were coming.

Suddenly it got shot in the head, multiple times and in my surprise it actually fell down.

 

“C’mon!” Kagura shouted and I dragged Hijikata with me.

When Kagura tried to pull the door shut, one of them managed to push it’s arm from the crack. 

 

Hijikata managed to cut the hand off with his own sword. Kagura pushed the door shut and it locked. We heard the special types hit against the door, but for now it wouldn’t budge.

Kagura hissed in pain and I turned to her, and to my shock…

 

She had been scratched on her side. Three huge wounds. I panicked and told her to sit down, then I went to sit down next to her.

Hijikata stared at us, I knew what was on his mind.

 

“Hijikata, try to see if there’s any bandages please.”

“Gintoki-”

“Shut up! She got scratched okay!? Not bitten! Look for those bandages!!” I shouted before he could finish what he was saying. Kagura was gasping for air, the wounds must have hurt like hell.

 

“Gin-chan…” She weeped and I hushed her.   
“It’s fine, I’m here.” I said and held her hand.

“You’re going to be fine, you weren’t bitten okay? You weren’t bitten so you won’t turn.”

Kagura stared at me with a scared smile.

“Why don’t I feel so confident?” She managed to say as she started coughing.

 

I noticed from my side that Hijikata’s grip from his sword tightened. I lifted my hand to stop him.

  
“Wait! There’s a chance she won’t turn!” I shouted. Hijikata looked at me pained.

 

“Open your eyes! Can’t you see the wound is already turning black!? Her eyes are turning reddish!” Hijikata yelled and I knew what he meant. I knew it, but I just…

 

“I can’t lose her, Toshiro! I can’t!” I screamed and I turned to face her, but to my shock she had closed her eyes and her grip from my hand had loosened. 

 

“No, no Kagura no… Why, it shouldn’t happen this fast…”

 

“Gintoki, step aside.” Hijikata said to me, voice trying to sound as confident as he could muster.

 

“No.” I turned to him again. 

 

“She can’t, she can’t be dead! Not yet she…”

 

“Gintoki!!” 

 

I turned around to see Kagura, who was standing up. I mean, there was no way a person could change immediately like this, she was fine right? She must have been just fine…

  
  


“ _ The time from dying to changing was different depending on a person. Some turned almost right away… Some… Later. _ ”

  
  


“Gintoki watch out!!” 

 

Hijikata tried to cut her down but she bit on the sword before it could pierce her head. For a dead to have these types of reflexes…

Hijikata grunted and tried to push it through anyway. 

Then all of a sudden, Kagura bit through it. Breaking it. 

Hijikata looked shocked as she hit him hard enough to send him flying. Hijikata hissed in pain when his head hit the panels. Kagura started moving towards her, mind crazy with hunger, but Hijikata managed to grab her face and tried desperately to keep her away.

  
  


I was staring at them wide eyed.

  
  


“Kagura… You need to stop…” My legs were shaking as I forced myself up.

 

“Please… Kagura…”

 

“Gintoki!!” Hijikata shouted, trying to keep her still. An image of Shinpachi came to my mind, then turning into Kagura. 

  
  


“Kagura don’t make me do this to you…”

  
  


“Gintoki help me!!” 

  
  


I grabbed the broken sword from the ground and started running towards them. 

  
“Kagura!!” 

 

She turned to me just as I swung down with the sword. It cut right through her skull and she let out a small grunt before falling down, sword still on her head.

I was standing there, staring at my hands in shock. 

 

“Gintoki…”

“Did she manage to bite you?” My voice was merely a whisper as I turned to look at her lifeless body. She hadn’t bitten him, but I could see the blood on her fingers. I turned to look at Hijikata, who was now holding his left arm. She had scratched through his white dress shirt into his skin. 

My eyes widened in shock and I slowly went down on my knees.

 

“It’s not your fault.” He suddenly said, before I could even speak. 

“It’s not your fault Gintoki, none of this is.”

 

“Toshiro I-” 

Hijikata laughed quietly before leaning back and taking a deep breath. I didn’t know what to say.

 

“Please don’t cry.” Hijikata then said, I lifted my head and swallowed my tears. 

“I don’t want that to be the last thing for me.”

 

“We’re not sure yet if you will turn Toshiro…” I said, closing my eyes. I heard him huff.

 

“You’re right, it’s a small scratch.” Hijikata said with a fake amusement in his voice.

 

The banging on the door was getting on my nerves, did the creatures have nothing better to do? I inhaled and then opened my eyes. I was about to speak but then I noticed it.

Hijikata tried to look brave, he really did but I could see how much he was shaking. How afraid he really was. I remembered what I had thought when I had been with Dei, about how I didn’t want him to feel fear with me.

 

I then looked down and forced a smile before starting to hum a song I remembered playing in the radio a day before all of this started. Hijikata turned to me with a tired but curious look.

 

“What are you humming?”

“You’ve never heard of it? It’s a classic.” I said with a soft laugh. Hijikata shook his head.

“I don’t listen to music.” He said and I huffed.

 

“What kind of human never listens to music?” I said and then got an idea. I stood up and then offered him my hand.

 

“What?” He asked, confused of my gesture. 

 

“Let’s dance.” I said with a tired smile, he stared at me in disbelief.

 

“Why? We don’t even have music.”

 

“Because I want to and I can sing for us, c’mon.” 

He still didn’t look too convinced, but then he took my hand and got up. 

 

“Besides, this isn’t the first time we’ve danced so you know I can dance.”

 

“Thank you for reminding me of that horrible accident.” he said, groaning. I laughed as I put my hand behind his waist. He put his other hand to my shoulder and with other hand he held mine.

I then took a deep breath before slowly stepping forward.

 

“ _ Wise men say, only fools rush in... _ “ 

 

I was looking straight into his beautiful blue eyes. He looked less scared now, more interested in watching me as I was watching him. 

 

“ _ But I can’t help falling in love with you… _ ”

 

And how beautiful he still looked, just like that morning when we woke up together.

 

“ _ Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you… _ ”

 

“This song is cheesy.”

“Hush, let me sing.”

He sighed but nodded and I continued leading him.

 

“ _ Like a river flows, Surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things...are meant to be. _ ”

 

We turned around, the sounds of the zombies felt more quiet now, maybe it was because at that moment I couldn’t focus on them. All I saw was Hijikata, in front of me.

 

“ _ Take my hand, take my whole life too… _ ” I noticed Hijikata starting to cough and I had to breath in and out before I could continue. 

 

“ _...for I can’t help, falling in love with you. _ ”

 

Hijikata’s expression looked more pained now and he leaned against my shoulder, I realized it was more harder for him to stay conscious. 

 

“ _ Like a river flows, surely...to the sea.. _ ”

 

“ _ Darling, so it goes… _ ” Hijikata’s voice was weak as he tried to sing along with me. I chuckled slightly as I continued. 

 

“ _...some things, are meant to be… _ ”

 

Suddenly Hijikata’s body got heavier, he also got slower. “ _...take my hand… _ ”

 

“Gintoki…”

  
“ _ Take my whole life too… _ ”

 

He let out a quiet sigh, then I felt Hijikata become limp and I had to support him as we slid to sit down on the floor. I was holding Hijikata in my arms as he laid lifeless.

 

“ _ For… _ ” 

I had to take a deep breath as I clung onto him, whole body shaking. 

  
  


“ _...For I can’t help...falling in love...with you… _ ”

  
  


“ _ For I...can’t help...falling in love… _ ” I couldn’t muster the last words, tears flowed down my cheeks as I held him in my arms. 

  
  
  


“ _...with you. _ ”

  
  
  


I heard the door slowly give in, I didn’t turn to look at it’s direction. Then it broke down.

  
  


“There’s one survivor!” 

 

My eyes widened as I turned around to see a group for soldiers at the doorstep.

 

“Tell Captain that Hijikata Toshiro has deceased, so has the girl.” One of the men shouted.

“This one is unharmed!”

“Take him, we need to get going before more of them show up!” 

 

“No, why are you here now...WHY ARE YOU HERE NOW!?” I shouted as the soldiers came to me.

 

“He’s in shock.”   
“Drag him if you need to, we need this witness.”  

“No! Wait! I can’t leave him! No!” 

 

I remember being ripped away from Hijikata in a manner that was almost painful. Two soldiers had to drag me, I screamed, kicked and shouted. I saw one of the soldiers aim a gun at Hijikata and I couldn’t look away as they shot him in order to make sure he wouldn’t rise again. In the end all, I could do was to scream his name once more.

  
  
  
  
  


“TOSHIRO!!!”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

-The End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> There will be epilogue uploaded tomorrow. I decided there was no need to wait for the next week as it isn't an official chapter but more like a short story to see how our Gin-chan is doing after all this.  
> Tomorrow then~!  
> I hope to hear your opinions on this chapter as well as the rest!   
> Thank you for reading this far.
> 
>  
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


	10. Epilogue

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Gintoki!” 

 

I turned to look at the man wearing a gasmask, he wiped his clothing from all the dust. 

“I think this place is clean now.” He said.

I sighed in relief and pulled my own gasmask off my face breathing in. The air was dusty so I coughed right after. 

 

It has been four years since then, it took a full year before I got the group to return with me to search the place, the lab. Once we found the evidence that proved the other cities leaders that the infection had been planned, it took another two years to actually find the guilty ones.

Three of the leaders were prosecuted and then sentenced for life. 

 

A year passed before we could start purifying the remnants of the old Edo. I was part of one of the cleaning groups, basically what we did was use the evidence found in the labs to create a strong poison that would stop the living dead from walking again. We sent out fighter planes to spread it.

 

Afterwards it was just as simple as burning the bodies. 

I hated that part the most, but it was the only way for us to ever start rebuilding Edo. Of course there was no way of returning the way it was before but it could be rehabilitated. The broken pieces could be connected by building new bridges.

 

“Gintoki look at this!” 

I turned to look at the direction my partner had went, and truth to be told it was hard for me to step into that room.

 

I touched the wooden frame of the door before entering, and for a moment I was actually surprised how dusty it was. The room that had always been clean whenever I entered was now covered in dust and dirt. I closed my eyes and walked to my partner who was holding a framed picture from the small table.

 

“These must have been the infamous Shinsengumi men! I think that’s Kondo though it’s hard to tell… I wonder who the two others are”.

I stared at the picture and gently took it from his hands.

 

He was younger, he had longer hair and a dark blue kimono. But I recognized him immediately, and had to exhale before covering my mouth. Four years and I never forgot his face, the morning where he slept soundly next to me was still fresh in my mind. The way light shined on his hair, how his lips were partly open as he breathed. How his expression looked calm and peaceful. And how much I wanted to stay in that moment.

 

“Big fan?” 

 

I was pulled away from my thoughts by my partner who was looking over my shoulder. I realized I must have dozed off or something.

  
“Something like that.” I said with a small chuckle. 

 

“Hey do you think boss let’s us keep some stuff we find?” 

  
My partner looked confused but then shrugged.

“If you wanna keep that so bad then I won’t tell if you don't.” He said with a gentle laugh, I smiled back at him and then returned my eyes to the picture. I ran my gloved fingers on the smooth glass, wiping away extra dust. 

  
  


“ _ Wise men say, only fools rush in... _ “

  
  


“What was that?”

“Nothing, we should get going if this place has already been emptied.” I said and put the picture in my bag..

  
  
  


“Getting here is a pain…” 

After my work is finished for the day and we switch with another group, I always go to one place. A huge graveyard in the middle of the big park in the city I now live in. There are no real bodies of course, only gravestones with names on them. It was built to honor those who fell victim to the biggest terrorist attack ever in history.

I visit there often to see Kagura’s, Sougo’s and Shinpachi’s graves, even Dei’s and June’s. But there was only one grave I liked to stay by longer.

  
  


“I’m here again.” 

 

I say, sitting down in front of the huge gravestone. It read Hijikata Toshiro, Vice-commander of Shinsengumi. His absence is a silent grief and his life a beautiful memory. I decided on it as I was one of the rare ones able to describe how he had been when alive. Not everyone received a named tombstone. Only the ones that could be named or who had someone to miss them. Hijikata was one of the latter ones.

 

I play with the flowers on my hands, thinking of words to say. 

 

“I come here every day don’t I? You must be tired of me by now, haha…” I smile, slightly saddened. 

“You know, today my group got assigned your home to clean and guess what? I found your picture, or actually my partner did but I got to keep it so it’s mine. I decided to put it on my night table. It’s been long time hasn’t it? Makes me feel a little sad.”

 

I take a deep breath before laying my eyes on the smooth stone.

“You know, I never really got to say it properly to you but I do still love you. You were so afraid of our feelings for each to be just a fleeting moment, but even now, my feelings for you haven’t changed. Just wanted to tell you that…”

 

I put down the flowers on the ground in front of Hijikata’s tombstone.

“I used to think there was nothing after you die, no honoring, no peace and no heaven. You would just cease to exist once you die. But lately, I’ve noticed that I don’t think that way anymore. I’d like to think that wherever you are, in the heaven or here with me in spirit, that you’d be happy and at peace. I still miss you, but I guess I’m dealing with it pretty well.” I say, standing up. 

 

“I’ll come to see you again okay?”

I stand up, but before I can begin walking, there’s a voice in the wind.

  
  
  
  


“ _ Gintoki. _ ”

  
  
  


I turn around and I swear for a moment I could see him stand there. Leaning against the stone with a smug smile, as if telling me not to worry. I feel my eyes burning as tears threaten to fall.

 

Then it’s gone, the autumn leaves fly in the wind, and all I see is the stone but when I turn to leave, I turn with the calmest smile one could have. 

  
  


And I am at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> This was originally supposed to be a short one shot but it ended up being a long story. Well, I do hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'd be more than happy to receive thoughts of the fic in the comments.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading this far.
> 
>  
> 
> ~Wingedsong~


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